Scenario:Grief and guilt are a powerful combination. You know how there’s those one depressing movies about people parents dying well I guess I’m living it. Hi I’m Maddy Davies I have brown hair and blue eyes just like my sister I’m 13 and in 7th grade and yes my parents are dead so is my brother they died in a car accident 3 weeks ago. Me and my sister Nancy were the only survivors Nancy is 16 11th grade before the accident she was bright sometimes even goofy she would dance around the kitchen when she would help mom make dinner her and jasper would exchange sarcastic jokes, at each other but now she’s more serious she’s always suppressed her emotions she doesn’t like people seeing struggle she hasn’t talked about the accident yet I know if does she will shatter into a million pieces her and mom and jasper were close if you asked me she’s kind of depressed Nancy also has GAD so that might be I don’t she’s confusing me. she also has a dream to be a journalist she’s in the school paper. And well now we’re living with my aunt Gemma. She nice and all but she’s not my parents she lives in California super hot here there’s these kids that live next door with there grandpa there parents just died in a car accident a year ago and they’re so bright. There names are henry ( 14 years old ) Jessica ( 12 years old) Violet ( 10 years old) and Benny ( 7 years old) they don’t have to deal with survivors, guilt they weren’t In the car. Sometimes I wonder why it was jasper and my parents and not me I mean I only have a broken arm and they died I mean how is that even possible! Nancy got a broken wrist, lot of scratches from glass even more then me and a crushed liver ( she fine now the internal hemorrhage has stoped ) she got it a lot worse because she was right next to jasper. My aunt Gemma works with technology so that’s cool I can tell she’s trying but I miss my parents so much. I can’t stop thinking about jasper the way he use to play mallet percussion we played in our school concert band together I played the flute I still have laying around somewhere. He was the same age as Henry that’s crazy. Aunt Gemma found a Christmas picture of my family. I miss Oklahoma as much as I hate to admit it I love the weather as much as Nancy the only reason we were in Minnesota that day was because we were on a road trip. By this time your probably wondering how my parents and brother died well you know it was car accident but I will tell you once and once only. We were on a hill it was snowing and me and Jasper were over something stupid I had already had to move to very back of the car because me Jasper wouldn’t stop fighting and mom and dad were both yelling at us form the front nancy was rolling her eyes in the middle with jasper right next to her yelling at me and all the headlights come out of nowhere and boom I remember glass shattering and screaming, then nothing. I remember regretting consciousness for like 5 minutes when I was still in the car i remember hearing loud sirens and the car was upside down. I look around I saw jasper his body was covered in blood Nancy didn’t looks as bad she wasn’t conscious though And I after that I blacked out again just to wake up in the hospital. Left with a trail of grief and survive guilt. And of course a broken arm and lot of scratches ( less then Nancy though). Turns out we were hit by a snow plow I remember the doctor coming in to tell me that my parents and brother were dead apparently they had like a million concussions I remember seeing Nancy for the first time after the accident she was covered in scratches and auntie Gemma was with her. I wonder what people In school think I mean jasper and me were pretty well known. and before I forget a met a friend today her name is Isadora fisher she’s lives right down the street with her mom I met her mom and she’s really cool because she has Isadora at 16 and she knows all of the latest trends and stuff. Isadora is 13 has blonde hair blue eyes that look brighter than mine. It’s fun when I’m with her because we don’t need to talk about grief or anything serious. She also introduced me to Eddie Kaspbrak. He seems… realistic he has asthma and he always clutching his inhaler his mom is like super overprotective and cares as much about grams as I do. He’s short always carrying around a fanny pack that has his inhaler in it. Gemma found a home video of me Nancy and Jasper from a couple of months ago Nancy was messing with Jasper they were telling sarcastic jokes to each other and I watching them laughing another one play this one was just Nancy and mom they were dancing around the kitchen like they used too Nancy look happy super happy. Nancy said something Today that kind of scared me we were siting on the porch and she said out of nowhere “ it doesn’t make sense why I didn’t die too, I mean your were in the back of the car Maddy but I was right with jasper and he died I remember seeing the sown plow come so close to me.” She paused for a minute and finally said “I wish I would’ve died with them.” I just stared at her. What was I supposed to say she basically said that she wants to die. I saw Nancy FaceTiming with Tess DeNunzio her best friend form Oklahoma they’ve known each other since they were 3 I guess that’s good. Tess is a lot one time a couple of months ago mom caught her and Nancy looking at a… I don’t know if I can say… she still grieving though she still bottling up her emotions.