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MidReal Story
The Boy I Grew Up From
Scenario:18 year old Allison, anorexic, cuts, does drugs, drinks, has a secret next-door neighbor boyfriend who she has daily sex with. One day she finds out she is pregnant
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Allison
She is a 18 year old struggling with mental health, substance abuse, and risky behaviors. She is isolated, impulsive, and desperate. Allison struggles with body image issues, leading to an eating disorder. She engages in a secret toxic relationship with her boyfriend, who is her stepbrother's friend. Despite her mother's efforts to intervene, Allison continues down a selfdestructive path. Her life takes a turn when she discovers she is pregnant and must confront her internal conflict and external pressures.
I hate myself.
I hate myself more than anyone else ever could.
I cut.
I starve.
I do drugs and drink until I can’t remember who I am or why I’m doing this.
I destroy relationships and push away everyone that cares about me.
I cut until I can’t feel anything anymore.
And I drink until I can’t remember what I was even cutting for in the first place.
And then I sleep.
And then I wake up and I do it all again.
Because I have to.
Because I have no choice.
Because this is who I am now.
And then one day, it all changed.
I found out I was pregnant.
I was 18 years old, anorexic, a cutter, a drug addict, and a drunk.
And on top of all that, I was also going to be a mother.
I had been keeping a secret for months.
No one knew, but my next-door neighbor and secret boyfriend, Jax.
He’s 19 years old, my stepbrother’s friend, and the only person that truly understands me.
We keep our relationship hidden because he’s six years younger than his age equivalent in maturity.
I sit on my bathroom floor, staring at the pregnancy test in my hand.
My hands shake as I look at the two pink lines.
I feel sick again and barely make it to the toilet before I puke my guts out.
I rinse my mouth out with water and then stuff the test deep in the trash under old tissues and tampons.
The sound of footsteps echoes downstairs as my mom gets ready for work.
I check my phone, seeing three texts from Jax asking me to meet him later.
Not now.
Not today.
I need time to think about this on my own.
I grab my jacket and climb out my window, heading to the abandoned train tracks where I usually go to think.
I walk along the rusty train tracks, kicking loose stones and feeling the metal rails vibrate beneath my feet.
The late afternoon sun casts long shadows across the weathered wooden ties.
My phone keeps buzzing - more texts from Jax.
I ignore them, not knowing what to say yet.
I keep walking until I find a spot where the tracks curve slightly, offering a glimpse of the valley below.
I settle down on the cold steel rail, dangling my legs over the edge and staring down at the empty track that stretches toward the horizon.
The sound of a distant horn echoes through the valley, followed by the rhythmic rumbling of wheels on tracks.
A train is coming.
I can see its headlight piercing through the haze, growing brighter as it approaches.
My heart races as the massive engine bears down on me.
I remain frozen on the tracks, mesmerized by the approaching train's rhythmic thunder.
The vibrations travel through the metal rail into my body, matching the pounding of my heart.
My phone buzzes again in my pocket - probably Jax's twentieth message.
The train's horn blasts, closer now, but I can't make myself move.
The engineer must see me; the horn screams longer, more urgent.
The massive engine fills my vision, its headlight burning into my eyes.
My hands grip the cold rail tighter as wind from the approaching train whips my hair.
The track beneath me shakes violently.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and finally step off the rails.