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MidReal Story
Shadows of Konoha: A Ninja's Resolve
Scenario:I'm seeking advice from the Hokage
Create my version of this story
Haru Yamanaka
young ninja seeking advice, friends with Sakura and rivals with Sasuke, short black hair, determined and impulsive
Sasuke Uchiha
elite ninja and mentor to Haru, husband of Sakura, tall with dark hair, stoic and wise
Sakura Uchiha
skilled medic ninja and friend of Haru, married to Sasuke, long pink hair, compassionate and intelligent
I was in a bad place.
I’d been in a bad place for a while now, but I was finally starting to realize that it wasn’t just going to go away on its own.
I had to do something about it.
And I knew exactly who I needed to talk to.
The Hokage’s office was at the top of the tallest building in Konoha, and as I climbed the stairs, my heart pounded in my chest.
I’d never been up here before, and I’d never met the Hokage face-to-face.
But I didn’t have much of a choice.
If I wanted to be a ninja, if I wanted to be like Sasuke and Sakura, then I had to get this under control.
Chapter 1
I was in a bad place.
A really bad place.
For the past two months, I'd been slowly but surely getting worse, and I had no idea why.
I was an Uchiha, for God's sake.
I'd been training every day, pushing myself harder and harder to become a better ninja, to prove to everyone that I could be just as strong and powerful as my parents.
But it wasn't working anymore.
Every time I tried to fight, to move, it felt like I was drowning in an endless ocean of darkness and anxiety, and no matter how hard I tried to pull myself out of it, I just kept sinking further and further into the depths of my own mind.
It wasn't a temporary slump, or a bout of depression, or anything like that.
It was something deeper, something darker, something that I couldn't control or stop, no matter how hard I tried.
I didn't know what was wrong with me, or how to fix it.
And that terrified me more than anything else.
I'd always believed that being a ninja meant you were invincible, that nothing could hurt you or stop you from achieving your goals if you just worked hard enough and trained hard enough and pushed yourself hard enough.
But that invincibility felt like a lie now, like it was mocking me for ever thinking that I could be as strong or powerful or unstoppable as my parents.
As Sasuke Uchiha.
As Sakura Uchiha.
My parents had been the first ones to notice that something was wrong with me.
They'd taken me aside, asked me what was going on, but I didn't know how to tell them that I didn't know what was going on myself.
That I didn't know why I couldn't move or fight or be the ninja that they wanted me to be anymore.
My friends and teammates had noticed, too, and they'd all started to worry, even though they didn't know what was wrong with me or how to fix it either.
But it wasn't just worrying about my friends or my teammates or my parents that I was worried about now.
It was worrying about myself, too, because even during simple training exercises with Naruto Uzumaki, I would freeze up and feel like I couldn't move at all, and it didn't matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted to break free from the darkness and anxiety that was threatening to consume me, it just wouldn't let me go.
And Naruto's frustration and anger only made things worse, only made me feel like I was letting everyone down, like I was never going to be able to escape from this prison that my own mind had created for me, and it was all my fault for not being strong enough or powerful enough or good enough to stop it before it was too late.
This was a big step for me, because I'd never met the Hokage before, and I'd never even been up to his office before, but I knew that this was something that I needed to do, even if it scared me more than anything else in the world.
I spent the rest of the day and most of the night preparing myself mentally and physically for the meeting, even though I wasn't quite sure what I was going to say or how I was going to say it once I got there.
And when morning finally came, I got up early, dressed in my best ninja attire, and made my way to the Hokage's building, where I climbed the stairs to the top of the tallest building in Konoha, and as I pushed open the door to the Hokage's office, my heart pounded in my chest as if it were trying to escape from my body and run away from me as fast as it could.
I was in a bad place.
A really bad place.
For the past two months, I'd been slowly but surely getting worse, and I had no idea why.
I was an Uchiha, for God's sake.
I'd been training every day, pushing myself harder and harder to become a better ninja, to prove to everyone that I could be just as strong and powerful as my parents.
But it wasn't working anymore.
Every time I tried to fight, to move, it felt like I was drowning in an endless ocean of darkness and anxiety, and no matter how hard I tried to pull myself out of it, I just kept sinking further and further into the depths of my own mind.
It wasn't a temporary slump, or a bout of depression, or anything like that.
It was something deeper, something darker, something that I couldn't control or stop, no matter how hard I tried.I didn't know what was wrong with me, or how to fix it.
And that terrified me more than anything else.
I'd always believed that being a ninja meant you were invincible, that nothing could hurt you or stop you from achieving your goals if you just worked hard enough and trained hard enough and pushed yourself hard enough.
But that invincibility felt like a lie now, like it was mocking me for ever thinking that I could be as strong or powerful or unstoppable as my parents.
As Sasuke Uchiha.
As Sakura Uchiha.
My parents had been the first ones to notice that something was wrong with me.
They'd taken me aside, asked me what was going on, but I didn't know how to tell them that I didn't know what was going on myself.
That I didn't know why I couldn't move or fight or be the ninja that they wanted me to be anymore.My friends and teammates had noticed, too, and they'd all started to worry, even though they didn't know what was wrong with me or how to fix it either.
But it wasn't just worrying about my friends or my teammates or my parents that I was worried about now.
It was worrying about myself, too, because even during simple training exercises with Naruto Uzumaki, I would freeze up and feel like I couldn't move at all, and it didn't matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted to break free from the darkness and anxiety that was threatening to consume me, it just wouldn't let me go.
Chapter 2
I feel awkward just saying those words out loud, but I manage to get them out anyway as I bow my head respectfully to the Hokage.
"My name is Haru Yamanaka."
The Hokage tilts his head to one side, studying me carefully for a moment before he speaks again.
"Ah, Yamanaka," he says thoughtfully.
"Are you related to Ino Yamanaka?"
I blink in surprise at the question; it's not one that I was expecting him to ask me.
But then again, Yamanaka isn't a very common last name in Konoha, so it makes sense that he would want to know if Ino and I are related somehow.
I shake my head slowly.
"Ino is my sister," I tell him simply, "but my friends and teammates are Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Uchiha."
The Hokage nods in understanding, a thoughtful expression on his face as he considers my words.
I can tell that he's already put two and two together, that he knows why I'm here, even though I haven't actually told him anything yet.
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I'm about to say next.
"I need your help," I say bluntly, cutting straight to the chase.
"My parents noticed that something was wrong with me about two months ago, but I didn't think it was a big deal at first so I didn't say anything to anyone about it."
I pause for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts before I continue.
"But then I started to have trouble during missions, too. I would freeze up in the middle of fights, or I would start to panic if things didn't go exactly according to plan. It's been getting worse and worse ever since then, and I don't know how to make it stop."
I swallow hard, my mouth suddenly dry.
"I've been struggling with anxiety for the past two months," I admit quietly.
The Hokage doesn't say anything for a long moment, and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I wait for his response, wondering if he's going to tell me that there's nothing he can do to help me, that I'll just have to learn to live with it and deal with it on my own.
But then, finally, he speaks, his voice calm and measured and surprisingly kind.
"That must be very difficult for you," he says simply, "but I'm glad that you came to me with this. I want to help you, Haru, but I need you to tell me more about what you're going through so that I can understand what you need from me."
I nod my head in understanding, relieved that he's not going to just dismiss me and tell me to go away, but also anxious about what I'm going to say next.
"I know that you're probably thinking that this is just a temporary problem, that it will go away on its own eventually, but it's not," I tell him honestly.
"I've been struggling with anxiety for a long time, and it's been getting worse and worse ever since then. I don't know why it's happening or what's causing it or how to make it stop. And I'm scared."