Scenario:Sarah, a sweet and innocent girl wakes up to find James Jaxon, the mafia boss, fucking her. Nice rough and hard. As if it was the only thing he wanted to do.
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Sarah, a sweet and innocent girl wakes up to find James Jaxon, the mafia boss, fucking her. Nice rough and hard. As if it was the only thing he wanted to do.
I woke up in James Jaxon’s bed.
I was naked, and he was gone.
My body ached in the best way possible, and I could still feel the ghost of his touch on my skin.
I’d never felt anything like it before.
It was as if he’d awakened something inside me, something that had been dormant for years.
I’d never been with a man before, but I knew that what James and I had shared last night was different from anything else I’d ever experienced.
He’d been so rough with me, so demanding, and yet I’d loved every second of it.
I’d been afraid at first, but he’d known exactly what to do to make me feel good.
He’d taken control of my body in a way that no one else ever had, and I’d given myself over to him completely.
And now here I was, lying in his bed like some kind of lovesick fool.
I didn’t even know if he felt the same way about me that I did about him.
I reached out to touch myself, expecting to find a sticky mess between my legs, but when I ran my fingers over my pussy, it was slick and wet, and I was immediately filled with shame.
I couldn’t believe that I’d let James do those things to me last night, and that I’d enjoyed it so much.
I should have been horrified by his behavior, but instead, I was lying in bed thinking about how much I wanted him to come back and do it all over again.
I was sore in places that I didn’t even know could get sore, and yet every time I moved, a warm, tingling sensation spread through my core, reminding me of the pleasure that we’d shared.
I closed my eyes and thought about the things he’d whispered to me last night, the way he’d touched me and kissed me and made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world.
He’d been so different from the way he usually was, the cold, calculating mob boss who had no qualms about ordering someone’s death.
But with me, he’d been so gentle, so caring.
He’d held me close and kissed away my tears and whispered words of comfort in my ear.
I’d never known anyone like him before, and now I was afraid that I never would again.
My heart felt heavy as I thought about how much I missed him already.
It was silly to feel this way about a man who would never be mine, but I couldn’t help it.
He had taken something from me last night, something that I would never be able to get back, and now I was left feeling empty inside, like a piece of my soul was gone forever.
I wished that I could stay here in bed forever, wrapped up in his warm embrace, but I knew that I couldn’t.
Eventually, I would have to get up and face the real world again, but for now, I just wanted to lie here and pretend that everything was okay.
That James really did love me and that we could be together forever.
As I lay there, my mind wandered back to the things that James had done to me last night and the way my body had responded to him so eagerly.
I was embarrassed by how wet he’d made me and how quickly I’d come apart in his arms, but he didn’t seem to mind at all.
In fact, he’d seemed to take great pleasure in making me fall apart for him again…and again…and again…
I squeezed my legs together at the memory of his fingers sliding inside of me, and a wave of desire washed over me.
Was it possible for a girl to be addicted to sex?
Because that’s exactly what I felt like right now—like an addict going through withdrawal after being deprived of her favorite drug for too long.
And James was definitely my drug of choice.
Even though I knew that what we were doing was wrong—and dangerous—I couldn’t help but crave more of him.
But what did he want from me?
It was obvious that he knew that I was inexperienced when it came to sex.
Tears filled my eyes as I read his note and realized what it meant:that he wasn’t coming back and that our time together was over.
I read the note again and again, hoping that there had been some kind of mistake, but there it was:the same simple message scrawled on a piece of paper in James’s perfect handwriting, just like everything else about him.
I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I had a meeting this morning.I’ll see you soon.
Tears welled up in my eyes as I read his message, and a sob caught in my throat as I realized what it meant:James Jaxon didn’t love me, and he wasn’t coming back for me.
I’d known all along that this day would come and that eventually, he’d grow tired of me and move on to someone new, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept.
I took a deep breath and tried to hold back the tears, but it was no use.
They spilled down my cheeks and soaked into James’s pillow, and all at once, I felt like a fool for ever believing that a man like him could ever love a girl like me.
I didn’t know what to do next, but one thing was clear:
I couldn’t stay here any longer—couldn’t lie in this bed where I’d given myself to a man who would never be mine and pretend like everything was okay.
This wasn’t how I’d imagined my first time going at all, but there was nothing I could do about it now except get dressed and go home before anyone caught me here and realized what had happened between James and me.
The sooner I left, the sooner I could try to put this whole embarrassing episode behind me and move on with my life, even if it meant doing it without him by my side.
I just hoped that he’d never know how much he’d hurt me by walking away like this—how much I’d miss him every single day for the rest of my life.
The sound of the door opening made me jump, and I turned to see James striding into the room, looking as handsome as ever in his perfectly tailored suit.
His dark eyes met mine as he walked over to the bed, and a small frown creased his brow as he took in the tears on my cheeks.
“Sarah,” he said softly, reaching out to brush them away with the pads of his thumbs.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
His voice was soft, almost gentle, and it made my heart ache all over again as I thought about how much I loved him—how much he’d broken my heart by leaving like this without so much as a goodbye.
I’d never known anyone like him before, someone who could be so kind and caring one moment and then turn around and break your heart the next.
It scared me how easily he could make me feel things that I’d never felt before—things that I didn’t even want to admit to myself—and I knew that I had to get out of here before things got even more out of hand than they already were.
“I’m sorry…”
He shook his head and pulled me into his arms, wrapping them around me and holding me close so that my body was pressed against his from head to toe.
“You don’t have to apologize, baby,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“I know that this isn’t what you wanted, but it’s what we need to do to keep you safe.”
The deep, primal connection that I felt toward him flared to life again at his touch, and I tried to fight it—to tell myself that it was wrong to want someone who could never be mine like this—but my traitorous body didn’t seem to care about any of that as it melted against his.
He smelled so good, a spicy mix of cologne and musk, and it made me want to bury my face in his neck and breathe him in until there was nothing left of me but the memory of this moment.
He saw the desire in my eyes and arched an eyebrow in surprise, pulling back a little so that he could look down at my face.
“What’s this?”
he asked, his voice soft yet commanding.
“Did you think that I didn’t know what you were feeling for me last night?”
He reached up to brush a lock of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear, tucking some of the strands that had come loose during the night behind my ear.
I bit my lip, trying to figure out what to say, but it was hard to find the right words when every single one of them seemed to come out sounding like a lie.
I wanted to tell him that I hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, but it would have been just that—a lie—because I knew that deep down, I’d wanted it to happen ever since the moment we’d met, even if it meant that he was going to break my heart in the end.
“I’m sorry…”
I repeated, my voice barely a whisper as the tears started to fall again.
“I know that you’re disappointed in me.”
He shook his head and pulled me against him a little more tightly, almost as if he couldn’t bear to be separated from me even for a second, and the thought made my heart ache all over again.
“No one is disappointed in you, baby,” he said softly.
“I just want to make sure that you understand what happened last night—what it means for us.”
His fingers brushed against the side of my neck, tracing delicate patterns on my skin that made shivers run down my spine.
“Did you know…”
his voice was soft, but filled with the power that always seemed to accompany him no matter where he went.
“That I was your first?”
I nodded, my face turning a bright shade of red as I tried to hide it against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again, “I didn’t mean for it to happen…”
He shook his head and reached down to lift my chin up so that I was looking at him again, meeting his gaze head on even though it was hard for me to do.
“No one is angry at you, Sarah,” he said softly.
“It’s just… It’s not often that I find a woman who’s never been with someone before, and I want you to be sure that it’s what you want before we go any further.”
“Are you sure?”
I hesitated, almost afraid of what he would think if I told him the truth, but the look on his face told me that he already knew the answer.
“You didn’t enjoy yourself?”
he asked, reaching down to take one of my hands in his so that he could trace circles on the back of it with his thumb.
I tried to tell myself that it was just because I was so physically attracted to him—to the way his body was chiseled out of granite, with a six-pack that was so hot it should be illegal, but even though I’d never done this before, I wasn’t so naive as to think that the way my body reacted when he touched me was just because of the way he looked.
There was something more… something deeper that drew me toward him in a way that was impossible to deny, even though I knew that I should.
I’d never thought that I would be so drawn toward someone who was so obviously wrong for me in every way, but it was hard for me to think about anything else when I was with him, even though I knew that it was a terrible idea for me to let myself get so attached when I knew that we’d never be able to be together in the end.
“I did,” I said, my voice so soft that I almost wasn’t sure that he would be able to hear it, but the look on his face told me that he had.
“I just don’t think that this is such a good idea…”
He smiled and leaned down to press a kiss against my forehead, but the warmth of the gesture didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“It’s a little too late for that now, don’t you think?”
My eyes flew open with a start as the sound of my best friend’s voice cut through the fog that had settled in my brain, turning my thoughts from lust-filled kisses and the feel of James’s hands on my skin to the present, where my reality was much less appealing.
I’d been standing at the counter at the coffee shop where Mia and I worked, staring down at the register drawer even though there wasn’t actually any money there at the moment since we hadn’t opened yet.
I’d already thought about this more than enough times that day—I needed to stop dwelling on it or Mia was going to start asking me questions that I didn’t want to answer.
“Are you okay?”
she asked, her brow furrowing with concern as she reached out to touch my arm, as if the physical contact would be enough to bring me back down to earth.
“You’ve been acting really strange today.”
I forced myself to smile as I looked up at her, hoping that she wouldn’t see through my obvious ruse.
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to keep my voice even even though I could still hear the echo of James’s heavy breathing in my ears.
“I just had a long night last night and I didn’t get much sleep, but I’ll be fine once I get some coffee into my system.”
“Was it your dad again?”
she asked, her voice soft as she leaned in to give me a hug.
I hoped that she couldn’t see the lie written all over my face as I shook my head and hugged her back.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Mia—she’d been my best friend since we were little kids and I knew that she would never do anything to hurt me—but there was no way that I could tell her what had happened last night, especially not when it involved her boyfriend’s boss.
Mia’s boyfriend, Dominic, was James’s right-hand man, and they’d been together for more than a year now.
Mia had been smart enough to play hard to get at first even though Dominic had been interested in her from day one, and she’d played it perfectly so that he’d been the one to ask her out instead of the other way around.
She’d been a little nervous at first when they’d gotten serious since Dominic had never really had a serious relationship before, but it was clear to everyone who knew them that he was head over heels in love with her, even if he was too tough to admit it.
They’d met here in the coffee shop where we both worked.
Mia was one of the baristas so she’d been the one to take Dominic’s order when he’d walked in here almost two years ago to buy a cup of coffee on his way to work.
He’d asked for her number along with his latte, and by the time his coffee was ready they’d already set up their first date.
I’d known Dominic for years since he and James had been friends since they were kids, so I’d been used to him coming in here once in a while to pick up coffee for himself or for James.
Even though I’d thought he was cute from the second that I first laid eyes on him, I really hadn’t expected him to be interested in me since he was known as a bit of a player—okay, more than a bit—and I knew that I wasn’t the kind of girl that he usually went for.
But when he asked me out I was kind of thrilled about it even though I tried not to show it too much; I guess you could say that it was love at first sight on my end even though Dominic liked to pretend that he was too tough for all that mushy stuff.
I’d been a little hesitant at first when we first started dating since I knew about his past and I wanted to protect my heart from getting broken, but Dominic had been patient with me as he slowly won me over with his easy smile and rough charm.
It didn’t take me long to fall head over heels in love with him, especially when I saw just how much he loved me in return.
The other girls who worked here liked to gossip about our relationship since they all thought that it was so scandalous that the bad boy was finally settling down.
But what they didn’t know was that the bad boy was actually the right-hand man for the most powerful mafia boss in the city, and that he was currently dating the daughter of one of the biggest gangsters around.
We went out of our way to keep our relationship a secret from everyone except for our closest friends and family, which wasn’t too hard since Mia and I had our own small apartment about twenty minutes away from the city center.
We didn’t live together or anything like that; I wanted to make sure that we took things slow so that we could be sure of each other before we took things to the next level.
But it was clear even from the very beginning that there was something special between us.
I loved him more than I ever thought was possible and I would do anything for him.