Scenario:I, Lily, can't wait to be loved again.
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I, Lily, can't wait to be loved again.
Lily Evans
searching for love, friends with James and Sirius, petite with bright green eyes, hopeful and resilient.
James Potter
supportive friend, best friend of Lily, tall with messy black hair, charismatic and protective.
Sirius Black
loyal confidant, friend of Lily and James, lean with grey eyes and a mischievous smile, witty and brave.
I can’t wait to be loved again.
I can’t wait to fall in love again.
I can’t wait to have someone to hold me, to kiss me, to make me feel like I’m the most important person in the world.
I can’t wait for that feeling of being complete, of being whole.
I can’t wait for that feeling of being wanted, of being needed.
I can’t wait for that feeling of being loved.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been in love.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone who made me feel like I was the most important person in the world.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone who made me feel complete, who made me feel whole.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone who made me feel wanted, who made me feel needed.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had someone who loved me.
I’m done being alone.
I’m done being lonely.
I’m done not having someone to hold me, to kiss me, to make me feel like I’m the most important person in the world.
I’m done not being complete, not being whole.
I’m done not feeling wanted, not feeling needed.
I’m done not being loved.
Because I refuse to live my life that way any longer.
I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve.
And I deserve to be loved.
So I can’t wait to be loved again.
I can’t wait to fall in love again.
I can’t wait for my happily ever after to begin.
But, first, I have to find him.
And I think that’s the part I’m dreading the most.
I’ve been down this road before, and it didn’t take me anywhere good.
It didn’t take me anywhere I wanted to go.
It didn’t take me anywhere that led me to where I am now.
And I don’t want to go back there again.
I don’t want to go down that road again.
I don’t want to go anywhere near there again.
In fact, if I never have to go back there again, it will be too soon.
But there’s a small part of me that knows that’s a risk I’ll have to take.
That’s a leap of faith I’ll have to make.
That’s a price I’ll have to pay.
Because if I want my happily ever after, then it’s a road I’ll have to travel down.
It’s a road I’ll have to follow.
It’s a road I’ll have to cross.
And it’s a road I may have crossed before, but it’s a road worth crossing again.
So I’ve decided I’m going to go for it.
I’ve decided I’m going to give it a try.
I’ve decided I’m going to put myself out there and see what happens.
I’ve decided that it’s time for me to look for love again.
“You’re really going through with this?”
James asks as we sit in our usual booth at our favorite bar on our usual night out.
“Are you really going online and looking for love?”
“I thought you would be proud of me,” I say with a frown as I take a sip of my drink and look out onto the dance floor where Sirius is dancing with some girl we met at the bar an hour ago.
He may not know anything about her, but he looks happy and carefree nonetheless, and that’s all that matters right now.
“I am proud of you,” he says with his usual smile, “and excited for you as well.”
“Then why do you keep looking at me like you think I’m going to get killed the very first time I go out with some guy?”
“Because,” he says softly, “I don’t want you getting hurt again.”
I start, “Well, I just wanted…”
“I know you did,” he says with a smile, “but just because we want something doesn’t mean we always get it.”
I smile back at him and say, “So, what do you want?”
“I want what’s best for you,” he says as he reaches out and takes my hand in his and gives it a squeeze before looking me directly in the eyes and adding, “I want you to be happy.”
His gaze is so intense that I can’t help but ask, “James, what do you…”
But before I can finish, Sirius is at our table with an extra drink and an extra shot in his hand and an extra girl on his arm.
“Sorry, ladies, but this one is taken,” James says with a smile as Sirius takes the girl’s hand and pulls her away from the table, “but there are plenty more fish in the sea.”
“Thanks,” Sirius says as he sits the girl in the booth next to us, “but this one is perfect.”
James and I both stare at him until he raises his hands in surrender and says, “What?”
“You’re still here?”
“Of course, I’m still here,” James says as he lets go of my hand, “I’m your best friend, remember?”
“Remember?”
Sirius asks with a laugh before looking around the bar and asking, “Where’s Pete?”
“He’s working late tonight,” James explains as he looks around as well and adds, “but there’s no reason we can’t still have fun without him.”
“Yeah,” Sirius agrees as he takes a sip of his drink and then looks around again before saying, “but if we’re going to have fun without him, then we need more alcohol.”
“Do we have any money left?”
I ask as I look down at what’s left of my drink.
“We have enough for one more round,” James says with a smile, “so we should be good.”
“We should be great,” Sirius corrects him with a mischievous grin before saying, “and if we’re going to be great, then we need to be celebrating.”
Sirius is already on his feet and heading towards the dance floor before James or I can say anything.
But James just shakes his head and says with a laugh, “We should have known that was coming.”
“I should have known that was coming,” I agree as I look out at the dance floor once again to find Sirius dancing with a different girl this time.
And I take another sip of my drink and add, “But I think I’m going to need more alcohol if I’m going to be able to handle it.”
“You think you’ll be able to handle it?”
James asks with a smile.
With a smile of my own, I say, “I don’t know, but I’m willing to give it a try.”
I furrow my eyebrows at James and ask, “What do you mean?”
“Are you asking if I remember that you’re my best friend, or are you asking if you remember that you’re still here right now?”
He smiles at me and says, “Because from the way you said that, it almost sounded like you meant something else by it.”
“Like what?”
I ask with a slight frown.
“Like you were trying to tell me something,” he says before taking another sip of his tea, “and that something was…”
“Lily,” he says gently before reaching across the table and taking one of my hands in his own, “you know you can talk to me about anything, right?
I nod and take a deep breath before asking, “Are you sure about that?”
“Yeah,” he says while giving me a small smile, “I’m sure.”
“Then does that mean you want to talk about it?”
I ask as I raise an eyebrow at him.
He returns my gaze for a moment but then looks away before saying, “It means that I want you to talk about it… whenever you’re ready.”
As I nod, James gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and says, “But if you don’t want to talk about it right now, then that’s okay too.”
“Thanks,” I tell him with a small smile of my own, and when he returns it, I ask, “So what were you saying?”
“Sirius is still here because he’s your best friend,” James says as if picking up exactly where we left off, and when I give him an amused smile, he adds, “I’m pretty sure that’s what I meant by it.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s what you meant by it too,” I say with a giggle, and as James chuckles with me, my laughter quickly grows until it’s filling the entire room.
As the sound of my giggles echo off the walls, James and I share another knowing look, and this time, it’s James who finds himself laughing before asking, “Do you want some more tea?”
I try not to roll my eyes at him, but it’s difficult when I know that he’s doing it on purpose.
He just smiles at me and says, “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Please do,” I tell him with an eye roll before watching as James gets up and heads towards the kitchen.
But as soon as he leaves the room, my smile fades away and is replaced by something else entirely.
I take another deep breath as try to fight back the tears that have suddenly come out of nowhere, but it doesn’t take long for them to win their battle against my willpower.
And while I’m still trying to figure out why they’re even here in the first place, I do know one thing.
They’ve certainly chosen an interesting time to make an appearance again.
With a sigh, I wipe away my tears just as James comes back into the room with two more mugs in his hands—one of which he sets down in front of me—and another smug smile on his face.
“What were you smiling about?”