Scenario:Jeff Bezos funds a secret project to build a real-life Iron Man suit.
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Jeff Bezos funds a secret project to build a real-life Iron Man suit.
Tony Stark: “This is the best idea I’ve ever had.”
Sarah Johnson: “This is the worst idea you’ve ever had.”
Alex Rodriguez: “I’m in.”
I’m Tony Stark, and I’m a genius billionaire inventor.
Sarah Johnson is my lead engineer, and Alex Rodriguez is my security chief.
We’re about to build a real-life Iron Man suit.
When I first got the idea, I went to Jeff Bezos for funding.
He said no.
I told him he’d regret it.
He laughed in my face.
So I took my idea to his rival, Elon Musk.
He said yes before I even finished talking.
And then I went back to Bezos and told him the bad news.
He said, “You chose Musk over me?”
And I said, “Yup.”
Then he said, “Alright.
How much does he get?”
I named a figure so high, even I was surprised.
Bezos said, “Done.” And I got his check for fifty billion dollars.
Now we’re here in my lab at Stark Industries in Silicon Valley.
Our official cover is that we’re working on an ultra-advanced aircraft for the U.S.
Air Force and Jeff Bezos’ space company Blue Origin.
Both of those are true.
But we’re also building an Iron Man suit, and no one else knows about it.
Our budget is insane, but so are our goals.
We have one year to design and build it, but we’re doing it in secret, with limited resources, and under the constant threat of espionage from other companies who want to steal our technology.
We’ve been working for two months now, but we’re not done yet.
We’re working harder than ever: sixteen hours a day, seven days a week.
But we’re still not on track to finish on time.
And that’s a problem.
Because Jeff Bezos does not like missing deadlines.
This weekend, it’s finally coming together.
The first prototype is being assembled by our technicians at the other end of the lab as we speak.
It’s finally happening, and I can’t wait to show Jeff what I’ve made for him.
But that means we have only ten more months to finalize the design details and build enough suits to give to our test pilots for training.
And if we miss that deadline, the whole project could be cancelled.
No one can afford to take that risk, especially not me after I threw that much money around to get this project started in the first place.
So everyone who works here has been giving their all this weekend-at least until four P.M., when they all went home for the night.
Sarah’s still here, though, because she doesn’t have a home right now.
She’s been living in her office ever since she broke up with her boyfriend last week and kicked him out of their apartment.
Sarah’s been buried in work so she hasn’t had time to look for a new place, but I can’t let my top engineer sleep on the floor in the office.
So I asked Alex if she could sleep in his spare bedroom this weekend and he said yes.
Then I told Sarah she’d be staying with Alex this weekend and she said, “Absolutely not!”
But she hasn’t left the building, either.
So I’m counting on Sarah to come up with a design solution that will make our suit fly, but she says it can’t be done.
I don’t believe her.
And I can’t afford to have any more delays.
So… I need to get her to stay here and keep working.
But I also need her to like me and be happy.
And I recently learned that those two goals might be mutually exclusive.
So I take a deep breath.
And then I say, “Sarah, you’re right.
I never should have asked you to do this.
I’ll find another way.” But I don’t know how to make a flying suit myself, so if Sarah says it can’t be done, then it can’t be done.
And if our project gets cancelled, then I’ll have to leave Silicon Valley for good, and that means I’ll never find out who sent me that mysterious email with the link to an unlisted video file of me from years ago, when I was drunk at a party and made some very bad decisions, and then never remembered the whole incident until that video popped up on my phone.
But then Alex looks up from his work at the other end of the table and says, “Hold on!
You can do it!
Don’t listen to him!
He’s drunk!
And he’s not even here!
The real Tony Stark is at a charity benefit tonight.”
That’s true, but he’s not just any charity benefit.
It’s a benefit for the victims of the recent hurricane in Florida, and it’s being thrown by my girlfriend, Pepper Potts-who doesn’t know about my drinking problem or the video tape yet.
So I don’t want to be here either.
But Alex is right: I need to do my job and finish this design myself, so I say, “You’re right, Alex.I can do it.Don’t worry about me.” And I get back to work.
Because I’m not drunk-I’m just sad.
And maybe a little bit of depression is justified when your girlfriend dumps you and kicks you out of your apartment and you have to move into your office and live on your best friend’s couch for a few days.
But I still shouldn’t be drinking every night, because I might be an alcoholic.
And I know that sounds bad, but it’s only bad if I never do anything about it.
I’m going to stop drinking eventually.
But not tonight.
Because I need some sleep tonight.
I need to stay up all night and keep working on this design so that Jeff Bezos will be happy tomorrow morning when he shows up at our office unannounced for a surprise inspection.
And Alex keeps walking up behind my desk and looking over my shoulder and telling me how to fix my design so that the suit can look like Iron Man and fly around like Iron Man at supersonic speeds in less than ninety days.
But Alex isn’t my boss, so I’m trying not to listen to him.
But he’s a former member of the Navy SEALS and a former Olympic decathlon champion and a former professional baseball player and a former astronaut-and he also happens to be the chief of security for the entire project-so I’m trying really hard not to argue with him either.
So I say, “Yes, sir,” and I keep trying to fix my design.
But I’m also keeping an eye on Sarah out of my peripheral vision because she keeps looking over at Alex, too, like she’s worried that he’s going to steal all of her glory.
And I don’t think Alex would ever do that.
But if he does, then I’ll never get a promotion-which means I’ll never get a raise-and I need this job because my student loans are killing me.
So even though I don’t want to argue with Tony Stark, I also have to protect my work from Alex.
So I say, “That won’t work,” as gently as possible.
Because I don’t want to piss him off.
But Alex doesn’t take it well.
He says, “I think you’re wrong about that.”
So I say, “I don’t care what you think,” which is pretty much the worst thing you could possibly say to your boss, but it’s too late to take it back now.