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MidReal Story
Hidden Truths: Quarterback's Secret Love
Anonymous
May 13
Scenario:Angel, the high school quarterback jock, descent into his secret homosexuality
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I’m in love with Michael Reed.
I’ve been in love with him for as long as I can remember.
He’s the most popular guy in school, and he has no idea I exist.
He’s also straight, but that doesn’t stop me from dreaming about him.
I’m not out to anyone, and I don’t think I ever will be.
I’ve been hiding in the closet for years, and I don’t see a way out of it.
My best friend Leo knows the truth about me, but he’s the only one who does.
If my dad ever found out, he would probably disown me.
He’s a pastor at our church, and he’s made it clear that he doesn’t approve of gay people.
I don’t know how much longer I can keep up this charade.
It’s exhausting pretending to be someone I’m not all the time.
I just want to be myself without having to worry about what other people will think of me.
I’m the starting quarterback for our high school football team.
The stereotype of a jock is basically a picture of me in a nutshell.
I have an athletic build, tan skin, and I’m not too bad looking if I do say so myself.
I’ve always been one of the popular kids in school, and I have plenty of friends and fans who love me.
I’ve led our team to victory more times than I can count, and we made it to the state championship four years in a row.
I’ve been playing football since I was old enough to pick up a ball.
There’s nothing I love more than running down the field and scoring a touchdown.
Football has always come easy to me, and I like being the center of attention.
It’s like I was born to play the part of the cocky jock, even though that’s not who I am at all.
There’s only one problem with my perfect image: I’m gay.
And if anyone ever found out, it would ruin my life.
Most people around here aren’t very accepting of those who are different from them, and being gay is basically the worst thing you could be.
I live in a small, conservative town in the middle of nowhere.
Most people around here are closed-minded and stuck in their ways.
They don’t like change, and they aren’t very accepting of those who are different from them.
Being gay is something that’s just not tolerated around here, and I know if anyone ever found out about me, I would be shunned by everyone I know.
If my dad ever found out, he would probably disown me or send me off to one of those conversion therapy camps that are advertised on billboards all over town.
And while I might be able to handle losing some friends if they knew the truth about me, I can’t imagine my life without Leo in it.
He’s my best friend, and he has been since we were little kids running around in diapers together.
I don’t know what I would do without him.
Leo is also the only person who knows that I’m gay.
I don’t think he really understands what being gay means, but he’s offered to help me come out if that’s what I want.
But it’s not what I want.
There’s no way I could ever come out to anyone except maybe him.
I love my best friend more than anyone in this world, but I can’t tell him the truth about me.
If he ever knew how I felt about him, it would ruin everything between us.
I still remember the day that I realized I was in love with him.
We were in eighth grade, and he had just gotten his first real girlfriend.
He was so excited about it that he wouldn’t stop talking about her for days.
He even brought her over to meet me for the first time.
She was pretty with long blonde hair, and she had a nice smile.
But when she looked at me like she knew my biggest secret, my stomach turned in knots.
She whispered something in Leo’s ear that made him turn red before he quickly ushered her out of the room.
He told me later that she was just teasing him about having a crush on me too.
There was no one else I wanted more than Leo.
“I think I like boys,” I whispered into his ear with tears streaming down my face.
For a second he didn’t say anything.
Then he hugged me tight and held on for as long as I needed him.
“It doesn’t matter if you like boys or girls or both,” he said.
“I’ll still be your friend no matter what.”
Leo has always been a good friend to me.
After that day, I thought things might change between us and I would lose him forever.
But he stuck around and pretended like nothing had happened at all.
We’re both sixteen now, and he’s still the only person who knows that I’m gay.
My love for him hasn’t changed either.
Even though I know he’ll never feel the same way about me, I still can’t help dreaming about being with him one day.
But it’s just a silly fantasy, and I know it’s never going to happen.
Michael Reed is another story altogether.
The first time I saw him was during my middle school gym class.
I remember walking out onto the football field on a warm autumn day, feeling self-conscious about my shirtless body and changing voice.
I was just a kid who was starting to grow into his own skin, but Michael was different.
He was tall, confident, and strikingly handsome, yet it was his piercing blue eyes that left me breathless every time I saw him.
The way they sparkled when he smiled made my heart skip a beat, and his deep laugh was something that always lingered in my mind.
I knew from that very moment that I was in big trouble, but my feelings for him only grew stronger as we got older.
I always thought my crush on him would go away as soon as I started dating girls, but it never did.
Things have only gotten worse as we’ve both gotten older and more mature.
Michael is a senior this year, which makes him a whole year older than me.
He’s also one of the most popular guys in our school, and he has a lot of friends who look up to him.
I don’t even deserve to be in the same room as him, but that doesn’t stop me from dreaming about him anyway.
The first time I ever told Leo that I was gay was during our freshman year of high school.
We were sitting on my bed late one night, talking about girls and all of the things we’d never done before.
My heart was racing, and my stomach was in knots as I tried to find the right words to tell him what he wanted to hear.
“I think I like boys,” I said softly, looking down at my hands as I spoke.
He didn’t say anything for a long time after that.
I thought maybe he hadn’t heard me or wasn’t sure what I meant by it, but then he wrapped his arms around me and held on tight.
“It doesn’t matter if you like boys or girls or both,” he said.
“I’ll still be your friend no matter what.”
Leo is gay too, but he hasn’t come out to anyone except for me because he’s afraid of what might happen if people found out about him too.
Our moms were best friends too, which made it easy for us to spend time together whenever we wanted.
We both grew up as only children, so we were like brothers growing up, even though we weren’t related.
Leo has always been there for me, through thick and thin, in good times and bad.
He’s the kind of friend you only get once in a lifetime, which is why I love him so much.
He’s been my rock, my protector, and my confidant over the years, and I know that I can tell him anything without judgment.
In fact, I’m not even sure what I would do without him.
He’s been there for me through so many things, like when I learned how to ride a bike for the first time, when my uncle passed away, or when Michael started dating his first girlfriend.
Leo was there for me when I told him that I was gay too.
He didn’t judge me or make fun of me.
Instead, he just hugged me tight and told me that it didn’t matter to him either way.
He also told me that he was gay too, which was a big surprise since I’d never known anyone else who was like me before.
My mom always used to say that Leo was born eighty years old because he never wanted to have any fun or break the rules.
It wasn’t until we started high school that I finally figured out why.
It’s because he’s afraid that people will judge him for being different, which is something that I understand all too well.
The truth is, I don’t even know if my own dad would approve if he knew the real me either.
He’s a pastor at our church, and he has very traditional views on marriage and relationships.
His beliefs are something that he’s always been very open about, which makes it hard for me to talk to him about things.
There are some things in life that are just easier not to talk about with other people, especially your own father.
Leo is the only person in the world who knows the real me besides myself.
We’ve both been best friends ever since we were little kids, but we didn’t come out to each other until we were 15 years old.
I can still remember the look on his face when I finally told him the truth, like he’d been waiting for me to say it all along.
It was like he already knew, but he wanted me to be the one to tell him anyway.
I knew that I was taking a big risk by telling him the truth, but it felt good to finally let it all out.
I’m just glad that he didn’t judge me for it either.
He also told me that he was gay too, which was the biggest surprise of all.
We’ve been best friends ever since we could walk, and our moms were best friends too, but I never would have guessed that he was like me.
It took us a long time to come out to each other, but I’m glad that we did.
It feels good to be able to talk about things with him and not have to worry about whether or not he’ll understand.
I don’t know what I would do without him, even if we aren’t related by blood.
