Scenario:A Date With Kardashian
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Chapter One
The city of angels is a city of many sins. I’m only here to uncover one.
There’s a lot of money in the world. More than enough to go around. And there’s a lot of crazy in the world, too. Most of it is contained in one place: this city.
From my hotel room high up in the hills, I can see the lights of the city below, stretching out into the horizon, like a wild beast that goes on forever. It’s as if Los Angeles is trying to consume its own poison and make itself sick, but it just keeps getting stronger and stronger.
I’m in town for an exclusive interview with the Kardashians, and I’m going to get all the dirt they have to offer. The dirt that will help me get back on top.
The girls are waiting in the next room. I’ve been talking to their managers, mostly, and they’ve been stonewalling me on most of the questions I’ve been asking. That’s not going to stop me, though. I didn’t get where I am by being a pushover. I ask the questions no one else will, and I’m ready for the answers, no matter how devastating they may be.
I know what you’re thinking. But you’re wrong about me. At least partially. You’re right that I’m a journalist, and you’re right that my career is dying a slow death. But you’re wrong if you think I’m just in this for the money.
I mean, don’t get me wrong: I want to get paid for my work. But it’s about more than that. It’s about revealing the truth. That’s why I got into this business in the first place.
I used to be at the top of my game, but then something happened and it all came crashing down. That’s a story for another time, though.
I take one last sip from my coffee cup and head into the next room.
The girls are waiting in the next room. They don’t look very happy to see me, but I don’t care. I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to get answers.
“So,” I say as I take my seat across from them, “which one of you is pregnant?”
They look at each other for a moment, then turn back to face me with their best fake smiles plastered across their faces.
“Excuse me?” Khloe asks.
“You heard me,” I say. “Us Weekly got a tip that one of you is expecting.”
“Is that what you think we’re here to talk about?” Kourtney says.
“It is,” I say.
“We’re here to talk about our new line of lip glosses,” Kim says.
“And our new reality show,” Kylie adds.
“Right,” I say. “But I think your fans would be more interested in learning which one of you is pregnant.”
Their faces turn red with anger as they all start talking at once, trying to drown out my questions with their own words. But I’ve learned to be patient over the years, so I sit back and wait for them to finish.
After a few seconds, they stop talking and turn to look at me like they can’t believe I would even ask such a thing.
“Our personal lives are none of your business,” Khloe says finally.
“And we don’t appreciate you trying to pry into them,” Kourtney adds.
“Do you have any idea how much money we make?” Kim asks.
“More than I’ll ever make in my lifetime,” I say, “but that’s not the point.”
“Then what is the point?” Kourtney asks.
“The point is that your fans look up to you, and they want to know what’s going on in your lives,” I say. “And it’s my job to make sure they get the truth.”
“Even if it’s none of their business?” Kylie asks.
“Especially if it’s none of their business,” I say. “Isn’t that the entire premise of your show? You put your lives on display for the entire world to see, and now you’re upset when someone tries to peek behind the curtain?”
“Maybe we should just end this interview right now,” Kim says.
“Maybe we should,” Kourtney adds.
“But you won’t,” I say. “Because you need me more than I need you.”
“We’re not afraid to go public with this,” Khloe says. “We’ve got plenty of other people interested in working with us.”
“That may be true,” I say, “but no one has the reach or the influence that we do. And if you walk away from this interview, you’ll be passing up a golden opportunity to set the record straight.”
They look at each other for a moment, then turn back to me with their best fake smiles plastered across their faces.
“Fine,” Kim says. “We’ll answer your questions, but only because we don’t want anyone else getting the story first.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“But no more personal questions,” Kourtney says.
“No promises,” I say. “But let’s start with the lip glosses. What makes them so special?”
Throughout the rest of the interview, the girls try to steer the conversation back to their new line of lip glosses, but I keep bringing it back to the pregnancy question. I can tell they’re getting annoyed, but I don’t care. My job is to get the truth, and that’s what I’m going to do.
When we’re finally finished, the girls give me fake smiles as they shake my hand and walk out of the room. Their managers don’t even bother to do that much. They just glare at me as I pack up my things and leave. The whole way back to my office, my phone doesn’t stop ringing as my boss blows it up with calls and texts about when he can expect my story to hit his desk.
The last message he sends me reads: NOW.
I wait until I’m sitting at my desk and have pulled up a blank Word document on my screen before calling him back. He answers on the first ring and starts yelling before I can even say hello.
“So what’s the big scoop?” he says. “Which one of them is pregnant?”
“I don’t know yet,” I say. “They wouldn’t tell me.”
“You mean you don’t have a story for me?” he asks.
“I didn’t say that,” I say. “I said I don’t have the whole story. But that’s okay because I’ll find it somewhere else.”
“You’d better,” he says. “I didn’t pay to fly you all the way out there just so you could come back empty-handed.”
“Don’t worry,” I say. “You won’t be disappointed.”
“You’d better not disappoint me,” he says. “This is your last chance.”
“And I’m not going to waste it,” I say.
“You’d better not,” he says. “Now get to work. I want to see your story on my desk by the end of the day.”
“Yes, sir,” I say.
I hang up the phone and take one last sip from my coffee cup before getting to work.
A few hours later, I’m sitting in a meeting with my boss and his boss as they read over the story I wrote about the Kardashians.