MidReal Story
The zany misadventures of antique dealers/bandits Klaus Schwab and Janet Yellen! They lead a fleet of U-HAULs across the continental U.S. to rummage through estate sales and steal kitschy trinkets! They are determined to make sure you own nothing MADE IN CHINA and are happy!
Scenario: The zany misadventures of antique dealers/bandits Klaus Schwab and Janet Yellen! They lead a fleet of U-HAULs across the continental U.S. to rummage through estate sales and steal kitschy trinkets! They are determined to make sure you own nothing MADE IN CHINA and are happy!
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Chapter One
Klaus Schwab guided Janet Yellen through the dusty aisles in the back of the store.
They were on a mission, and they’d already scoured the rest of the retail space, which was filled with junk that no one seemed to want.
But Klaus knew there were treasures here. It was all a matter of finding them.
And of course, they didn’t have to worry about finding a way to pay for them. They’d brought their fleet of U-HAULs with them, and they had plenty of cash.
But that didn’t mean they wanted to blow it all on this one stop. They still had a long way to go, and they’d need cash for buying gas and food and other incidentals.
So Klaus took this part of their mission very seriously. He had an eye for quality and a sixth sense for what would fly off the shelves.
Janet was good, too. She’d learned a lot in the years that she’d been working with him. But she still hadn’t fully developed her instincts. And that was why she needed him.
She needed his guidance.
Klaus stopped at a shelf lined with glassware. The pieces were covered with a fine layer of dust and were separated by price stickers, which indicated that they were for sale.
There were shot glasses and wine glasses and tumblers, each one more beautiful than the last.
“Now this,” Klaus said, “is what I’m talking about.”
“We should get the whole shelf,” Janet said. “We can sell them in lots on eBay. People love to buy things in lots. It makes them feel like they’re getting a bargain.”
Klaus nodded. “That’s true. But we don’t want to blow all our money on one thing.”
“But look at these,” Janet said. “They’re really beautiful.”
Klaus ran his finger along the rim of a wine glass. “Yes, they are. And I bet they’re worth a lot more than what they’re asking for them.”
Janet grabbed a tumbler and held it up to the light. “I’m sure you’re right.”
Klaus smiled at her. “I always am.”
Janet rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help smiling back at him.
Klaus had that effect on people. He was charming and charismatic and seemed to have an answer to every question.
Sometimes it was annoying how smart he was. But most of the time, Janet found it comforting. It made her feel safe, like she was in good hands.
Klaus turned away from the shelf with a sigh. “I hate to say it, but I think we’ll have to pass on these.”
Janet frowned. “Why?”
“Because we don’t have enough cash with us,” Klaus said. “We’d have to use the company card, and I don’t want to do that unless we absolutely have to.”
Janet nodded. “I see what you mean.”
Klaus led her to another shelf and picked up a porcelain figurine, which was covered in dust and missing its head.
“Now this,” he said, “is more like it.”
Janet leaned in closer and wrinkled her nose. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am,” Klaus said. “This piece is going to be worth a lot of money someday.”
Janet shook her head. “I don’t see it.”
“Of course not,” Klaus said with a chuckle. “You still have so much to learn.”
Janet frowned at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you need to trust me,” Klaus said. “I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you have, and I know what I’m talking about.”
Janet sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have questioned you.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Klaus said. “But it’s okay. I know that you’re still learning, and I’m here to help you. That’s what I do.”
Janet smiled at him. “You’re right. I should listen to you more often.”
Klaus nodded. “Yes, you should.”
He led her to another shelf and picked up a glass paperweight.
“Now this,” he said, “is a real find.”
Janet looked at it and wrinkled her nose again.
“You really think so?”
she asked.
“Yes,” Klaus said.
“It’s very unique, and it’s obviously very old.
Janet nodded.
“I can see that.
But—”
“Trust me,” Klaus said.
“We’re going to make a lot of money on this one.”
Janet frowned at him.
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I have a good eye for these things,” Klaus said.
“This is going to be the find of the century, mark my words.”
Janet shrugged.
“Okay, if you say so.”
“I do say so,” Klaus said with a smile.
“So what are you going to do now?”
Janet asked.
“I think we should keep looking,” Klaus said.
“We don’t want to put all our eggs in one basket, after all.”
Janet nodded.
Klaus led her to the front of the store, where an old man with a long beard was sitting behind a table, working on a crossword puzzle.
The sign on the table said “Cashier.” Janet looked at it and then back at Klaus.
“You want us to steal it?”
she hissed.
Klaus winked at her.
“Just because we’re taking it doesn’t mean it’s stealing,” he said.
Janet shook her head.
“I think it does,” she said.
“But whatever.
We’ll take the paperweight and go.”
She glanced around the store to make sure no one was watching them, then quickly slipped the paperweight into her purse.
Klaus walked up to the cashier and cleared his throat.
The man looked up from his crossword puzzle and smiled at them.
“Did you find everything okay?”
he asked in a thick Southern accent.
Klaus nodded and handed him the plate.
“Yes, thank you,” he said.
Janet watched as the man took the plate and wrapped it in some old newspapers before putting it into a plastic bag for them.
“So, how much is that going to be?”
Klaus asked as he pulled out his wallet.
The man squinted at him for a moment before naming his price, which was ridiculously low.
Klaus raised his eyebrows at him.
“That seems rather cheap,” he said in an even tone.
The man shrugged.
“I’m not in this business to make money,” he said.
“Oh?
Then why are you in this business?”
Klaus asked, raising his eyebrows.
The man looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before answering.
“I don’t rightly know,” he said.
“Guess I just like old stuff and don’t know what to do with it all, so I sell some of it to make room for more.”
Janet rolled her eyes.
She was about to tell the man that they’d take it when another voice cut her off.
“How much for all of it?”
Everyone turned to see a tall, thin man with dark hair and dark sunglasses standing in the doorway of the store.
He looked like he had just stepped out of an episode of The Sopranos.
Janet groaned quietly to herself as she recognized him.
Of course.
Tony.
Chapter 3
Tony
Tony walked up to Janet and Klaus with a sly grin on his face.
He tipped his sunglasses down to look at them over the top of them and winked.
“I thought that was you two!”
he said.
Janet scowled at him, but Klaus just smiled and nodded.
“Tony!”
he exclaimed.
“What are you doing here?
Were you following us?”
Tony shook his head.
“No, I was at this estate sale down the road and saw your U-HAULs, so I figured I’d stop in,” he said.
He looked at Klaus knowingly.
“It’s been a while, buddy.
I see you’re still up to your old tricks.”
Klaus laughed and clapped Tony on the back.
“Hey, I’m not the only one who’s up to no good,” he said with a wink.
“Although I must say, I’m impressed.
I didn’t think there was anyone else out there who had the balls to do what we do.” Tony chuckled and shrugged.
“Yeah, well, when you have nothing to lose, there’s nothing holding you back,” he said cryptically.
He turned to Janet.
“But enough about me, what’s with all the U-HAULs?
What have you two been up to?”
Klaus grinned and raised his eyebrows.
“Oh, just moving around some things, you know how it is,” he said.
Janet gave him a pointed look, but he ignored her.
Tony chuckled and shook his head.
“I can only imagine,” he said.
He turned back to the old man behind the counter.
“So what do you say?
How much for everything?”
The man shifted uncomfortably.
“Well, uh… I don’t rightly know.
This is… well, it’s my livelihood,” he stammered.
Janet rolled her eyes and shot Klaus a look that clearly said “what have we gotten ourselves into?”
Klaus just smirked and shrugged.
“Come on, Tony,” he called over to him.
“You don’t want any of this junk.
Let’s go find something to eat.
My treat.”
Janet groaned softly.
“Of course it is,” she muttered under her breath.
Klaus shot her a look that said “not now,” and she rolled her eyes.
“Alright, Klaus, I’m starving,” she said loudly.
“Let’s go!”
Klaus turned back to the old man and handed him the paperweight.
“You know what?
We’ll take this, and we’ll be on our way.” He turned and walked out of the store without waiting for the man to respond.
Janet followed after him, shooting Tony an apologetic look as she went.
Tony just sighed and shook his head as the door closed behind her.
Klaus was waiting for her by the U-HAUL, leaning against it and grinning.
“Good thing I parked close by, huh?
We should probably get going before Tony realizes what we’re up to.” Janet narrowed her eyes at him.
“You know, just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you have to be rude to them.
It’s called being polite.”
Klaus snorted and climbed into the driver’s seat of the U-HAUL.
“That guy is bad news, trust me.
You don’t want to get mixed up with him any more than you already are.”
“I’m not mixed up with him!
He just happened to show up at the same place as us!”
Janet protested as she got into the passenger seat.
“Oh, sure, because that wasn’t suspicious at all,” Klaus said sarcastically as he started the engine.
“And how do you know about him anyway?”
he asked, glancing over at her.
Klaus raised an eyebrow.
“Really?
What kind of business did you have with him?”
He pulled out of the parking lot and turned onto the road.
“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response,” Janet said, folding her arms over her chest and turning to stare out the window.
“Suit yourself,” Klaus said, shrugging as he drove.
“But I still don’t trust him, and I think we should get out of town before he tries anything funny.”
“What do you mean by that?”
