MidReal Story
Obsession's Haunting Shadows
Scenario: psychological thriller that follows Kyle, a closeted bisexual man navigating a mundane life of casual hookups and unresolved past relationships. When he reconnects with an old girlfriend, Emily, strange and unsettling events begin to unfold. Kyle's paranoia intensifies as he feels increasingly watched and tormented by someone from his past: Spencer, a former friend with benefits who harbors a dangerous obsession with him. As Kyle delves deeper into the mystery, he discovers shocking truths about Spencer's fate and the dark depths of his own psyche. Haunted by guilt, fear, and the blurred line between reality and hallucination, Kyle must confront his inner demons before they consume him entirely. "Lurking Shadows" is a chilling exploration of identity, obsession, and the terrifying power of the mind.
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Spencer
Kyle's former friend with benefits who becomes dangerously obsessed with him, antagonist figure representing Kyle's inner demons and external threat, appearance not explicitly detailed, manipulative and possessive.
Emily
Kyle's exgirlfriend who remains close to him despite their breakup, friend and confidante to Kyle, appearance not explicitly detailed, supportive and understanding.
Kyle
a closeted bisexual man struggling with his identity and past relationships, protagonist with a complex inner turmoil, deeply affected by his past with Spencer and unresolved feelings for Emily, appearance not explicitly detailed, conflicted and haunted by guilt.
I was never supposed to fall in love with you.
I was never supposed to fall in love with him.
I was never supposed to fall in love with her.
But I did.
And I did.
And I did.
And it ruined me.
I was never supposed to be a liar, but I am.
I was never supposed to be a cheater, but I am.
I was never supposed to be a monster, but I am.
Kyle: 2009
The first time I met Spencer, he told me he loved me.
We were sitting on the floor of my dorm room, drinking beer and talking about our families—how we both had two sisters and how we both missed them like hell—and he just blurted it out like it was no big deal.
Like he hadn’t just met me two weeks ago and we weren’t sitting here alone at two in the morning because all of our friends were out partying without us and we didn’t know each other well enough yet to have anything better to do than sit around and talk about our families.
He said, “I love you,” and I said, “What?”
And he said, “I love you,” and I said, “You’re fucking crazy.”
He said, “I love you,” and I said, “You can’t even know me yet.”
And he said, “I don’t know how to explain it.I just do.”
I should have known right then that I was in trouble.
One: because he was gorgeous and funny and brilliant, and we had this instant, palpable connection.
And two: because he was so sweet and open and unguarded, and I wasn’t.
Not at all.
I’d spent my entire life building walls around my heart, and this boy was the first person who ever made me want to take them down.
The first person I’d ever met who made me want to be different than the person I’d always been.
It was a terrifying feeling, but it was also thrilling.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t know what was going to happen next.
But I wanted to find out.
I wanted to know.
I wanted him.
The thing is, if Spencer were a girl—a real girl—none of this would have been a problem.
Or at least not this particular problem.
I’ve never had a hard time getting girls to go out with me—or more accurately, I’ve never had a hard time getting girls to let me go out with them.
I’m tall and good looking—my friends used to call me “closet Ken doll” behind my back—and I’m not totally devoid of social skills, so as long as I kept my mouth shut about what I really wanted, I could usually keep them around for a while.
But then there was Emily.
She was smart and funny and sweet and beautiful, and she loved me more than any girl ever had—and more than some of them ever would—and it wasn’t fair.
It wasn’t fair for her to give me everything she had to give when I couldn’t give her the same in return.
It wasn’t fair for me to love her as much as I did when it wasn’t enough.
When it would never be enough.
When she deserved so much more than she would ever get from me.
So when she finally told me she couldn’t take it anymore—when she finally broke up with me—I let her go without a fight.
And even though we both knew we were making a huge mistake, we never got back together again.
And even though we both knew we would always love each other, we never got back together again.
The thing is, I've always k ow O was attracted to both boys and girls, and that is why I was never really able to fully be myself with Emily. If I am being honest, I don't think she would have cared. I did though, it was my dirty little secret. I really liked sex too. I never cheated on her, she was my girl and I was loyal, but after we ended it I met Spencer and we hook up, a lot.
He knew I was bisexual; I told him on the first night we hooked up.
Spencer was so different than any other man I'd ever met or been with. The first night he kissed me I knew everything was going to change and I was right.
About a month into our relationship—and about a month after I’d started hooking up with Spencer—Emily came into my room at two in the morning because she had heard me come home drunk and she was worried about me.
She was sitting on my bed crying when I got home, and she told me that I didn’t have to talk to her if I didn’t want to, but that she loved me and she was here for me no matter what.
So I sat down on the bed next to her and I told her everything.
That I was bisexual.
That I’d met someone else.
That I was falling in love with him.
At first she was totally shocked—I think she thought that I’d come home drunk because I’d gotten into some kind of fight—but after a minute she just nodded like she’d known all along.
I couldn’t believe how relieved I felt after I told her.
I’d been keeping it all inside for so long that it was like an anchor had been lifted off my chest.
Finally, I didn’t have to hide it anymore.
Finally, I could just be myself.
When Spencer found out that I’d told her—she’s his ex-girlfriend, too—he was really upset.
He said that our relationship was private and that talking about it made him feel like it wasn’t special anymore.
He said he didn’t know if he could trust me anymore.
But then he looked at me with those big brown eyes and said that he trusted me more than anyone he’d ever met and that he loved me more than anything.
He said that he’d never met anyone like me before and that I made him feel like no one ever had.
He said that he wanted to be with me forever and that he would do anything to make me happy.
He said that he would do anything to make me love him.
He looked so vulnerable when he said all of this that I couldn’t believe it.
This strong, confident man who could have anyone he wanted looked at me like I was the best thing that ever happened to him.
This man who I was falling in love with looked at me like I was the one who held all the power.
This man who I could never deserve looked at me like I was worth everything.
And it made my heart hurt.
It made my throat close up and my stomach turn inside out.
It made my entire body ache with a longing so deep and primal that I could barely breathe.
Spencer made me feel things that I didn’t think were possible.
He made me feel things that I didn’t think I deserved.
But more than anything else, Spencer made me feel.
So yeah, I felt guilty when I told Emily about us.
But more than that, I felt grateful.
I met Spencer through a hook up app, Boys Only, and while yes I was picky, pickier than I should have been, he stood out to me. He was bitchy, and witty and interesting without trying to be. Talking to him made me throb, and than we met. It wasn't long before he was on his knees pulling my pants down and telling me how big my cock was.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I met Spencer through a hook up app.
We both knew that we were there for one thing only.
And I knew that I wasn’t supposed to tell him that I was bi.
I knew that I was supposed to pretend that I was gay and that I was only in the closet because I hadn’t had a chance to come out yet.
I knew that I wasn’t supposed to tell him about Emily or what she meant to me or what our relationship had done to me.
But when he asked me about her, I couldn’t help but tell him the truth.
And when he asked me about myself, I couldn’t help but tell him the truth.
And when he asked me about us, I couldn’t help but tell him the truth.
When he looked into my eyes and asked me what I was hiding behind my smile, I felt like he could see straight into my soul.
I knew that he could see the darkness that I tried so hard to keep hidden.
I knew that he could see the self-loathing that I tried so hard to keep buried.
I knew that he could see the guilt and shame and despair that seemed to define me.
And instead of running away from it, instead of pretending like it wasn’t there, instead of turning his back on it and pretending like it didn’t exist like everyone else did, Spencer reached out his hand and took mine.
He didn’t say anything at first.
He just looked at me.
He just held my hand.
He just let me feel.
And then he kissed me in a way that no one ever had before.
And he made love to me in a way that no one ever had before.
The first thing Spencer asked me after we kissed for the first time was if I’d ever been with another guy before.
I told him no.
I told him that I hadn’t even kissed another guy before.
But then he asked me if I’d ever done anything with a girl before Emily and I broke up too.
He asked me if Emily was the only person that I’d ever been with before.
He asked me who took my virginity.
And even though I’d only met him a few days earlier and even though we were only supposed to be here for one night and even though this was only supposed to be a one-night stand, I told him.
I told him about how we met.
I told him about how long we waited.
I told him about how amazing it was.
I told him about how much it hurt.
And then I told him about how much it meant to me.
And then I told him about how guilty it made me.
I told him about how dirty and ashamed it made me feel.
I told him about how much I hated myself for it.
But as scared and ashamed and guilty as it made me feel, talking about it with Spencer made me feel better too.
It made me feel like I wasn’t alone in it anymore.
It made me feel like maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it was.
It made me feel like maybe it was okay.
Spencer made me feel better than anyone ever had before.
When we met, she was dressed as Harley Quinn.
She was hot.
She was happy.
She was mine.
She doesn’t know this but she smiled at me before she smiled at anyone else.
She smiled at me as soon as she saw me.
She smiled at me because she knew that she looked amazing and she knew that I knew it too.
She smiled at me because she knew how much I loved her smile.
She smiled at me because she loved seeing how happy she made me.
That’s the last time I ever saw her.
Halloween is coming up again now and all I can think about is her dressed as Harley Quinn.
All I can think about is her smile.
All I can think about is how much she loved Halloween and how much we loved celebrating it together.
Seeing all these decorations everywhere makes me miss her even more than normal.
It makes me miss everything that we had together even more than normal.
But mostly it makes me miss all of the good things that she brought out in me.
We broke up a little over a year ago now but Halloween was one of my favorite holidays when we were together so a lot of my best memories of our relationship are from Halloween.
And there are so few good memories left between us now.
There are so few good things left in my life now.
So many things have gone wrong since we broke up and so many things have changed since we broke up and nothing has been the same since we broke up and nothing has been nearly as good since we broke up either.
But Halloween is one of those things that still feels like it’s almost okay without her.
Because it’s not like she’s gone altogether.
Emily is still here, after all.
And she’s still my friend too.
And we still see each other all the time too.
But she’s not mine anymore either.
And she’s not here for me anymore either.
Emily is still my friend but she’s not my girlfriend anymore either.
And that’s never going to change either way either though, no matter how much we both might want it to sometimes.
It’s been more than a year since Emily and I broke up but it still feels like it just happened yesterday to me all the time anyway all the same.
It’s been more than a year since Emily and I broke up but it still hurts me like it just happened yesterday all the time anyway all the same too.
That was a year ago. Spencer and I eventually went our separate ways, the sex fizzled out and just like always I let him down. We stopped talking as much, and than not at all. When I saw him around campus, as rare as that was, he would shoot me a bitchy look. It hurt to be honest, but I started getting closer to Emily again and we decided to give it a second chance.
I try to enjoy the Halloween party but it’s hard to feel like it’s Halloween at all when it’s so warm outside that night.
I try to enjoy the party but it’s hard to enjoy the party when I can’t even get into the rhythm of that night at all right from the start either.
I try to enjoy the party but it’s hard to get excited for Halloween at all when there isn’t anything about this party that makes me excited to be there at all right from the start either.
I’m not really feeling this year’s costume either way anyway though, for starters, so there’s not much to be excited for right then anyway either.
It’s just a store bought vampire outfit that looks like it could be anyone’s costume at all.
I hadn’t cared enough to put anything more original together this year though, so this is what I have to work with for now anyway either way, and so I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with that then too, even if it isn’t great by any stretch either way then.
I don’t know how long I’ve been wandering aimlessly through the crowded party with only alcohol and conversation with friends on my mind before everything else just disappears from my mind altogether instead, but when I see him everything else falls away at once and all at once there is nothing in the world left for me to do except panic instead.
He looks exactly like Spencer, but he can’t be Spencer because Spencer is out of town for the weekend with his sister visiting his mom at their family cottage instead.
