MidReal Story
Hidden Desires: A Tale of Unspoken Love
Scenario: Roommates kota and Stephen have been friends for a long time and live in a apartment doing jobs paying half rent each kota has secretly been a femboy and gay and wants to tell Stephen everything including his crush on him...
Create my version of this story
Kota
femboy with a crush on his roommate, Stephen's best friend and roommate, slender with long hair and feminine features, conflicted and deeply in love with Stephen.
Stephen
Kota's best friend and roommate, unaware of Kota's feelings, tall with broad shoulders and a rugged appearance, protective and caring towards Kota.
Mr. Johnson
landlord of the apartment building where Kota and Stephen live, friendly but strict about rent payments.
I was a femboy, and I was in love with my best friend.
My name is Kota, and I was in love with Stephen.
He was my best friend, my roommate, and the man who held my heart.
I’d been in love with him for years, but he didn’t know it.
He didn’t know that I was a femboy, either.
I’d kept that secret from everyone around me.
I couldn’t let anyone know that I loved to dress up in women’s clothing and feel pretty.
It was something that I’d discovered when I was a teenager, and it had stuck with me ever since.
I loved the way that the clothes felt against my skin, how they made me feel sexy and beautiful at the same time.
But I knew that if anyone found out about it, they would judge me.
They would call me names and tell me that I was disgusting or perverted.
So I kept it to myself, only dressing up when Stephen wasn’t home or when he was asleep in his room.
Every time he was around, I was in a constant state of emotional turmoil.
I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
It was easier to keep it a secret, to suffer in silence and pretend that everything was fine.
I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and I didn’t want him to hate me.
The thought of losing him was too much to bear, so I kept my mouth shut and tried to ignore the feelings bubbling up inside me.
Sometimes, it was easy to forget about them, especially when we were doing things like watching TV or cooking dinner together.
We spent a lot of time together, and it was nice to have him around all the time.
But it was also a constant reminder of the connection that we shared, the connection that I wanted to explore so badly.
I loved everything about Stephen.
I loved his rugged appearance, his tall frame and broad shoulders, his strong arms and calloused hands.
I loved the way that he smelled, the way that he smiled, the way that he talked.
He was perfect in every single way, and there was nothing that I would change about him.
There was nothing that I didn’t find attractive about him.
And that was part of the problem.
How could I not be in love with someone so perfect?
How could I not want to be with him all the time, to hold him and kiss him and show him how much he meant to me?
But he wasn’t interested in me like that.
He didn’t return my feelings, and he never would.
So instead, I kept my love a secret and pretended like everything was fine.
I wished that things were different between us.
I wished that I could tell him how I felt and have him tell me that he felt the same way.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
It was better for both of us if I just kept my mouth shut and went on with my life.
But it wasn’t easy.
The silence between us seemed to grow louder every day, a constant reminder of the words that needed to be said but never would be.
And the longer that we spent together, the harder it became for me to keep those words inside.
I knew that Stephen would find someone eventually.
He was too perfect not to.
And when he did, they would fall in love.
He would give his heart to her, and she would give hers to him.
They would spend their lives together, growing old and gray and happy with each other by their sides.
And I would be left behind, alone and heartbroken, wondering where it all went wrong.
I didn’t want that to happen.
I didn’t want Stephen to leave me behind or forget about me or hate me for being different than other people.
I tried as hard as i could to drop hints, maybe the only way was to tell him i loved him
I tried to let him know that I wanted more than just friendship, that I wanted to be with him in every single way.
I did everything that I could think of to make him see me differently.
I dressed in the sexiest clothes that I had, wearing short skirts and tight tops that showed off my slender frame.
I wore makeup and styled my hair, making sure that I looked as beautiful as I could.
I watched movies with explicit love scenes while he was around, hoping that he would notice what I wanted and give it to me.
But he never did.
He never said anything about the clothes that I wore or the makeup that I had on.
He never commented on how pretty I looked or how much I reminded him of a woman.
And he never watched the movies that I put on, either.
He never seemed to notice my hints or the signals that I sent out, treating me no differently than he would any other friend.
It hurt me more than I could say, knowing that my feelings weren’t returned.
It hurt knowing that Stephen would never love me like I loved him, that he would never hold me in his arms or kiss me the way that I wanted to be kissed.
It hurt knowing that there was nothing that I could do to make him feel differently about me and that there was no one else in the world who would ever mean as much to me as he did.
I knew that I had to get over it, that I had to move on and find someone who would love me for who I was.
I knew that it wasn’t healthy for me to keep pining after Stephen like this, to keep holding onto a dream that would never come true.
But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I couldn’t let go of the hope that one day, things would change between us, and we would finally be able to be together in the way that I’d always wanted.
Even though it wasn’t likely, even though it probably wouldn’t happen, part of me still believed that it would.
Part of me still held out hope for a future where we were more than just friends.
It wasn’t healthy to think that way, but it helped me get through the days, so I continued to do it, even when it made my heart ache in ways that nothing else could.
It made it harder for me to move on or to forget about Stephen, to stop loving him the way that I did, but it also made it easier for me to get up in the mornings, to go to work and take care of myself the way that I needed to.
It made it easier for me to keep going even when everything around me felt like it was falling apart.
I had to make sacrifices if I wanted to keep Stephen in my life, and that was one that I was willing to make, no matter how much it hurt me in the end.
Stephen didn’t know that I loved him, but he probably wouldn’t have cared if he did.
He just saw me as another guy, another friend that he could hang out with when he was bored or lonely.
He didn’t see me the way that I saw him, as a lover or a partner or someone to share his life with.
And why would he?
I couldn't take it anymore, in the morning I was gonna tell him my feelings for him
That’s all that we were, after all; two guys who shared an apartment and a friendship that had lasted for years.
We hung out together, watched TV, played video games, cooked meals, and did all of the same things that any other friends would do when they lived together.
We did everything together, except sleep together, because that’s something that Stephen didn’t want to do with me, no matter how much I wished that he did.
I’d spent so much time thinking about Stephen over the years, about what it would be like if he’d ever loved me back or if he’d ever wanted anything more than just friendship from me.
I’d thought about what it would be like if we were together, if we lived together or slept together or spent our days and nights together, just doing whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted to do it.
I’d spent so much time thinking about that and more that it’d driven me crazy long before I’d ever met him.
It’d driven me to do things that I never would’ve done otherwise and to say things that should’ve stayed buried deep inside me where they belonged.
But none of that mattered now.
Everything that had happened before was over and done with, and we were just two guys living together and trying to figure out what we were going to do with our lives.
We were just friends who loved each other the way that friends did and who would do anything for each other if they needed us to.
That’s all that we were, and that’s all that we would ever be.
Despite everything that had happened before or after or in between, despite the things that we’d said or done or thought about doing, nothing had changed between us.
We were still the same people that we’d always been and who we would always be if things stayed the way they were.
I found myself staring at Stephen again as he ate his food across from me at the table.
I watched him take his fork and knife and cut into his steak before dipping a piece into his mashed potatoes and bringing it up to his lips to take a bite.
And as he did so, his eyes met mine for a moment before he swallowed his food and said my name softly.
“Thanks for cooking dinner tonight,” he added as he continued to eat.
I smiled and nodded my head.
“Of course,” I replied.
I loved to cook for Stephen whenever I could because it meant that he would get to eat something delicious when he was hungry and because it meant that we would get to spend time together when we did.
And even though Stephen always insisted on helping me out whenever he could, he knew that I liked to take care of things myself sometimes too and that this was one of those times.