MidReal Story
Envious Obsession: A Forbidden Infatuation
Scenario: young girl is infatuated with an older man, she is obsessed with his look, his wit, his charm, his sense of irreverent humor, his artistic was, his art and his music, she was jealous of his beautiful wife.
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I was thirteen when I first met Mr.
Darcy, and he was the most handsome man I had ever seen.
He was also the wittiest, and the most charming.
He was everything a girl could want in a man, and I wanted him.
I wanted him so badly that it hurt.
I wanted him so badly that I would have done anything to get him.
But he was too old for me, and he was too good for me, and he was too married for me.
So I contented myself with watching him from afar, and with dreaming of the day when I would be old enough to win his heart.
That day never came, but my love for Mr.
Darcy never died.
It only grew stronger with time, until it consumed me completely.
I loved Mr Darcy more than anything else in the world, and I would never stop loving him.
Mr Darcy was my first love, and he would be my last love too.
I was thirteen when I first laid eyes on Mr.
Darcy, and my heart was lost in an instant.
He was the most handsome man in the world, with a smile that could melt any girl's heart, and a laugh that made your own heart beat a little faster.
His eyes were bright and twinkling, and his hair was dark and unruly, just like he was.
He was the kind of man who could make you feel like the most important person in the world, even if you were just one of many.
And every lady in the room wanted him.
Every one of them wanted to be the one to catch his eye, and win his heart, and make him theirs forever.
But it was never going to happen.
Because Mr Darcy was married, and he had been married for years, and he would be married for years to come, and there was nothing anyone could do to change that.
Not even me.
But that didn't stop me from wanting him.
I wanted him so badly that I couldn't take my eyes off him, even when I knew I should have.
I couldn't stop myself from staring at him, and watching his every move, and wishing that I was the one he was looking at.
I wanted to be the center of his world, and I wanted him to love me more than anything else.
But I was just a little girl, and he was a grown man, and it was never going to happen.
I knew that, but I didn't care.
Because it didn't change the way I felt about him.
It didn't change the way my heart would race every time I saw him, or the way my cheeks would heat up whenever he spoke to me.
It didn't change anything at all.
Because I loved Mr Darcy, and I always would.
And there was nothing anyone could do to change that, either.
It wasn't long before Mr.
Darcy noticed me staring at him, and he gave me a smile that made me blush.
He knew how much I loved him, because everyone did.
There wasn't a person in the room who hadn't noticed me staring at him, or who didn't know how much I wanted him for my own.
They all knew that I was in love with Mr Darcy, and they all knew that he would never return my affections.
But that didn't stop them from laughing at me behind my back, or from shaking their heads in sympathy whenever I passed them by.
Because they all thought that I was too young to know what love was, or what it could do to a person's heart.
They all thought that I would grow out of this silly little phase of mine eventually, and move on to someone more suitable for me instead.
They all thought that this would pass soon enough.
But they were wrong.
Because this wasn't a phase of mine at all.
This was forever, as far as I was concerned.
I loved Mr Darcy more than anything else in the world, and that wasn't going to change anytime soon.
It wasn't long before Mr.Darcy alone filled my daydreams.
He was all I could think about, day and night and in between.
There wasn't a single moment when I wasn't fantasizing about him, and the life we could have together if only he were mine.
Every time I closed my eyes it was his face that I saw, and it was his voice that whispered my name in my sleep.
It was him and no one else who made my heart beat a little faster, and my cheeks flush a little warmer, and my breath catch a little deeper whenever he came near me; it was him and no one else who made all my dreams come true in ways that no one else ever could.
In every one of my daydreams it is him and no one else who holds me in his arms, and who kisses me until I can't breathe.
It is him and no one else who loves me more than anything in this world or the next, and it is him and no one else who will be mine forever in ways that no one else ever could be.
Every time I closed my eyes it is him and no one else who whispered sweet nothings in my ear, and who made me feel like the most important person in the world; it is him and no one else who makes all my dreams come true in ways that no one else ever could.
Darcy was a secret love of a kind that I couldn't share with anyone – not even with my nearest and dearest friend – for fear of the consequences; but as much as I tried to keep it hidden and suppressed inside of me it kept growing until it consumed every fiber of my being until there was nothing left of me but this girl who loved a man she could never have and who would never love her back in the same way that she loved him back.
As he went on about his life as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't broken my heart into thousands of small pieces without even knowing that he had done so – as he went on about living his happy life as if there was nothing wrong with having shattered my dreams into millions of tiny pieces – there I was left with nothing but this gaping hole where once my heart had been whole.
The more I tried to fight it and to hold it back the more it kept coming until there was nothing left of me but something impossible for anyone not to notice – a girl so obviously besotted with a man she couldn't have and shouldn't have been in love with in the first place – but still there it was.
I couldn't stop myself from loving him even though I knew that there was no point in doing so; but as much as I tried to keep it hidden I couldn't stop the longing either – the longing to be with him and hold him in my arms and kiss him until I couldn't breathe.
And as much as I wanted to see the best in others there was something about him that made me think he felt the same way about me too; but he could never show it or act on his feelings or do anything to make me feel better about the way he treated me because I wasn't supposed to know or feel this way about him in the first place.
And so I went on pretending like nothing had happened even though everything had changed forever between us as we went on about our lives living pretending like the other didn't exist even though we were both acutely aware of each other's presence.
And then something would happen making us remember each other's existence all over again: his parents would invite mine over for dinner or for a party or for some other social event; and then there he would be sitting across the room from me and talking to someone else as if he hadn't just broken my heart into thousands of small pieces – there he would be looking handsome as ever even though he looked different too somehow now that I knew what he was really like on the inside.
He had come to the party with his wife who was beautiful too but not in the same way as he was; she was pretty as far as pretty girls went but there was something about her that made her not pretty enough to be his wife.
