MidReal Story
Resilience Rising Israel s Journey from Struggle to Success make
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Sarah Cohen and I walked through Jerusalem, its ancient stones whispering tales of resilience.
At 15, we were too young to remember the Six-Day War, the reason why our city was divided into Jewish, Muslim and Christian Quarters.
But we weren’t naive about the history of Jerusalem.
How could we be when it was the reason Sarah and I were orphans?
Even though we’d been best friends since we were babies, we only realized how much we needed each other after our parents were killed in a terrorist attack, leaving us alone without family to take care of us.
Our hearts ached for them, but we knew if they were looking down on us from heaven, they’d be glad to see us together.
As we strolled down the cobbled streets of the Old City, the scents of fresh bread and roasting meat wafted on the air.
Jerusalem was a melting pot of cultures, with a mix of ancient customs and modern conveniences.
School had let out for the day, and Sarah and I had decided to take a walk through our magnificent city before heading home.
We were both in tenth grade but attended different schools in different parts of Jerusalem.
Sarah’s school was closer, so she got out earlier than I did.
As we walked, I marveled at my best friend’s beauty, her curly red hair blowing in the wind and her eyes shining with laughter.
One thing I loved about her was that she found humor in almost everything.
Her laughter was infectious and made me feel like everything was going to be okay.
I might have been the tall one with the dark hair, but Sarah was the pretty one, with her petite frame and surprisingly green eyes that sparkled when she smiled or laughed.
I’d never admit it to her face, but she reminded me of a pixie or fairy with her wild red hair and quick smile.
Sarah was also one of the most loyal people I’d ever met.
There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her—and vice versa.
“Do you think you’ll be a lawyer when you grow up?”
I asked her, trying to keep up with her fast pace.
She was practically skipping, but I didn’t mind.
I’d do almost anything to keep that smile on her face.
She looked at me over her shoulder, her eyes wide and innocent.
“I plan to be a doctor, but I’ll definitely need a lawyer to help me sue the hospital when they don’t give me the job I want.” She winked at me, making me roll my eyes.
“Yeah, good luck with that.”
We were both too young to know what it would be like to be on our own, but we had plans.
Big plans that we weren’t willing to compromise on.
I loved Sarah like a sister, but I couldn’t help thinking about how much easier our lives would be if our parents were still alive.
We rounded the corner, and I could see the Jewish Quarter up ahead.
The Old City was divided into four quarters: the Jewish Quarter, the Muslim Quarter, the Christian Quarter, and the Armenian Quarter.
The Jewish Quarter was my favorite because that’s where the best falafel was sold.
“Yay!” Sarah cheered at the sight of the falafel stand.
“Do you think we could get some?”
I grinned at her.
“No, I think we should look at it for a while.”
She stuck her tongue out at me before darting away from me as I reached out to tickle her.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
The falafel stand smelled amazing as we approached.
The sizzle of the hot oil filled my ears along with the chatter of the other people waiting for their food.
Sarah and I had been coming here for years, so the owner knew us by name.
He gave us a nod of his head as we stepped up to the counter to place our orders.
“What can I get for my favorites today?”
the owner asked in Hebrew.
“Two falafel sandwiches with hummus for me,” Sarah said before turning to look at me.
“And two sodas for David.”
I laughed at her order as the owner prepared our food.
“You’re going to be a doctor in a few years.You’ll have to eat something besides junk food.”
She rolled her eyes at me.
“Sometimes junk food is okay,” she said.
“Besides, I’m going to study abroad in a few years anyway.”
I groaned and Sarah giggled at me.
“You can moan all you want,” she said.
“But when I get back, I expect you to be able to cook something besides burnt toast.” She patted my arm in sympathy.
“Don’t worry—I’ll write you recipes so you don’t starve while I’m gone.”
I made fake gagging sounds as I took the sodas from the owner and paid him.
Sarah shook her head at me and waited for her food.
After we got it, we found a small bench near the stand and sat down to eat.
The falafel was delicious, as always, and the hummus was fresh and creamy.
I sipped on my soda and listened to Sarah talk about her plans for studying abroad.
With the way she was talking, you would have thought she was leaving tomorrow.
But I knew it would be a few years before she’d be able to leave.
It was one thing to talk about it when we were young and carefree but another thing to actually do it.
After we finished our food, Sarah stood and stretched.
“That was so good.” She smiled at me.
“Do you want something for dessert?”
I wasn’t really hungry but I’d never turn down anything that had sugar in it.
“Sure,” I said.
Sarah’s eyes lit up at my answer, and she grabbed my hand.
“There’s a baklava stand down the street.” She tugged me along behind her as we walked.
I’d never seen someone who loved baklava as much as Sarah did.
It was almost as if the flaky dessert was calling out to her by name.
We reached the stand and stepped up to the counter.
Sarah’s eyes were wide as they scanned the different options.
She pointed to one of the trays with a large piece of baklava on top.
I’d been hanging out with Sarah for years but had never really paid attention to what she liked to eat.
I’d always been too busy trying to find something for myself to eat when we were together.
As I waited for the man behind the counter to give us our desserts, I heard Sarah giggle.
“Do you want to share a piece with me?”
I turned to find her holding up two pieces of baklava.
“Sure,” I said.
Sarah paid for the two pieces, and we walked back out of the square so we could find a place to sit down and eat.
We were only a few steps away from the stand when I saw Sarah stop suddenly.
I’d been looking around at the different shops, but when I saw her stop, I turned back to look at her.
“Sarah, what are you—”
My words were cut off by a loud explosion that seemed to come out of nowhere.
The ground shook beneath my feet, and I was thrown forward.
As I flew through the air, I tried to reach out for Sarah but it was no use.
I landed on the ground with a thud and lay there for a few seconds, trying to catch my breath.
When the world finally stopped spinning, I pushed myself up on my hands and looked around for Sarah.
The smoke was so thick that it was hard to see more than a few feet in front of me.
The sound of screams rose up from all around me, but I ignored them.
All I could think about was finding Sarah and making sure she was okay.
Ignoring the pain in my side, I pushed myself to my feet and started to run in the direction I thought she had been standing.
I tried to stay close to the wall so I could use it as a guide, but with the smoke swirling around me, it was almost impossible to see anything.
After what felt like hours but was probably only a few minutes, I finally saw her.
She was lying on the ground in the middle of a pile of debris.
Without a thought for my own safety, I ran towards her as fast as I could.
I dropped down next to her and grabbed her hand.
Sarah,” I said, my voice cracking.
“Sarah, can you hear me?”
Her eyes were closed, and she wasn’t moving.
Panic gripped my chest as I looked down at her.
I had no idea what had happened to her or if she was even still alive.
The explosion had happened so fast that it was hard to know what had happened to us.
Sarah,” I said again.
“You have to be okay.”
I wanted to tell her that everything would be fine and that we would be able to go home soon, but I didn’t know if it was true.
In those few seconds after the explosion, I had seen so much death and destruction that I didn’t know how anyone could ever be okay again.
But it didn’t matter how scared I was—it mattered how Sarah was doing.
She opened her eyes and blinked up at me for a few seconds before she seemed to remember where we were.
“David.” Her voice was soft and weak as she spoke.
“I’m so scared.”
My heart clenched at her words, and I squeezed her hand tightly in mine.
“It’s going to be okay,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure if it was true or not.
Sarah’s face was streaked with blood and tears, and a large cut ran along the side of her cheek.
She winced as she moved her other hand to her side and pressed it against her body.
“Don’t move,” I said quickly, putting my hand over hers to stop the bleeding.
“I’m going to get you some help.” I didn’t want to leave Sarah, even for a second, but I knew that I had no choice.
She needed help, and she needed it now.
“Just stay here, okay?”
Sarah’s fingers tightened around mine, and she shook her head.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered.
The fear in her voice was unmistakable, and I knew that I couldn’t leave her alone, not when she needed me the most.
“Okay,” I said softly.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I pressed my hand against the wound on Sarah’s side, trying to stop the bleeding as best I could.
I knew that I wasn’t doing much, but I hoped that the pressure would at least help a little bit.
The sight of the blood made me feel sick to my stomach, and I tried to push down the panic that was threatening to take over.
Sarah’s grip on my hand was tight and unyielding, and I didn’t dare try to pull away.
Instead, I just sat there, holding her hand and praying that help would come soon.
The minutes ticked by slowly as I sat there with Sarah, trying to keep her calm and quiet.
She was getting weaker by the second, and the blood from her side was starting to seep through my fingers.
I looked around for someone who could help us, but there was no one in sight.
The streets were still filled with smoke, and the only sound was the wail of sirens in the distance.
There had been so many people injured in the explosion that the emergency services were stretched thin, and they hadn’t been able to reach us yet.
But I refused to believe that there was nothing we could do.
I had to get Sarah out of here and make sure she got the help she needed.
“Help!”
I screamed at the top of my lungs.
“Somebody, please help us!”
No one answered my call, and I started to feel a sense of despair.
What if no one came?
What if Sarah died here and now, and there was nothing anyone could have done to save her?
Just as the first tears slid down my cheeks, I heard a voice calling out to me.
I looked up to see a man standing a few feet away from me.
He was tall and thin, with dark hair and kind eyes.
He was holding out his hand as if he wanted me to take it.
“Come on,” he said gently.
“Let’s get your friend to the ambulance.”
I nodded and let him help me to my feet.
When I stood up, I almost fell over from the dizziness, but the man steadied me with a firm grip on my arm.
Together, we lifted Sarah off the ground and carried her towards the ambulance.
The paramedics had been able to get one of the ambulances closer to where we were, and I was grateful for the fact.
When we reached the back of the ambulance, one of the paramedics got out and helped us lift Sarah inside.
“We need to go,” I said, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.
“She’s losing a lot of blood.”
The paramedic nodded and climbed into the ambulance next to Sarah.
“Thank you,” he said as he closed the doors behind him.
The man who had helped me looked down at me with a sad smile and squeezed my shoulder gently.
“Your friend is in good hands,” he said.
Her condition was critical.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything else.
I just stood there staring at the back of the ambulance as it raced towards Hadassah Hospital with Sarah inside, willing her to be okay.
It took almost ten minutes for us to reach the hospital, and when we got there, the doctors and nurses were waiting for us in the emergency room.
They lifted Sarah off the gurney and rushed her into one of the operating rooms, and I followed close behind them as if I was in some kind of trance.
Dr.Yosef, one of the head surgeons at Hadassah Hospital, was in charge of Sarah’s care that day, and he was already scrubbed in and ready to operate when we arrived.
He took one look at Sarah and shook his head grimly as he turned towards me.
“She’s in bad shape,” he said quietly.
“She has burns all over her body, and shrapnel wounds in her side.”
“I’ll do the best I can, but it doesn’t look good.”
I nodded, but I didn’t say anything else as they wheeled Sarah into the operating room and closed the doors behind them.
I sank down onto one of the hard plastic chairs outside the room and waited for what felt like hours, trying not to think about the fact that Sarah might die at any moment, and there was nothing I could do to stop it from happening.
The next few hours were a blur of fear and despair, and by the time they finally let me into the operating room, I was almost numb with shock.
Dr.Yosef was still inside, along with several other surgeons, and they were working frantically to try and save Sarah’s life, but it was clear that she was losing the battle.
Her blood pressure was dangerously low, and her heart rate was almost nonexistent, and I could see the worry etched on the doctor’s faces as they worked.
“We’re doing everything we can,” Dr.Yosef said when he saw me standing there in the doorway looking lost and helpless.
“But you need to be prepared for the worst.”
I nodded dumbly and sank down onto one of the chairs lining the walls outside the operating room, curling my arms tightly around my chest as if that would somehow protect me from what was about to happen next.
I sat like that for what felt like hours, staring at the closed doors of the operating room and praying that Sarah would somehow survive this and make it through.
But deep down, I knew that it was a futile hope.
The hospital corridor was almost eerily quiet as I sat there waiting for news of Sarah’s condition.
It was a stark contrast to the vibrant streets of Jerusalem just outside, where people were going about their lives as if nothing had happened at all.
But nothing would ever be the same for me again after this, and I knew it with a certainty that verged on despair.
The only sounds I could hear were the beeping of medical equipment and the hushed voices of nurses and doctors walking past on their way to other patients, and each sound felt like another nail in Sarah’s coffin as I sat there waiting for news of her condition
I don’t know how long it was before Dr.Yosef finally emerged from the operating room and walked over to where I was sitting in the hallway looking lost and helpless, but it couldn’t have been more than an hour or two at most.
“David, she made it through,” he said quietly as he sat down in one of the chairs next to me and put a hand on my shoulder in a gesture of comfort that felt almost out of place at a time like this.
“She’s not out of danger yet, but she made it through surgery.”
I nodded numbly in response, too overwhelmed by emotion to say anything as he stood up and walked away again, leaving me alone once more in that sterile hospital corridor where no one else knew or cared what had just happened other than Sarah and me.
As time passed and reality began to sink in more fully for me, it seemed as if every memory I had of Sarah was suddenly a reminder of what had happened today and how there was a very real chance that she might die from her injuries after all.
I remembered all those times when we were kids and she’d dragged me along while she went off on some wild adventure or other that would have gotten us both killed if our parents had known about them at the time.
I remembered the more recent memories too, like the time when she’d stood by me in the hospital waiting room after my dad’s heart attack, holding my hand and giving me the strength to keep going even when it felt like my world was falling apart.
The memory of that moment made me want to cry, but I knew that I couldn’t afford to give in to my despair now.
Not when Sarah was still fighting for her life inside that operating room.
But it was so hard to keep it together when I felt like my whole world was crumbling around me, and it took everything I had not to start crying as I sat there waiting for news of Sarah’s condition, knowing that even if she did survive, she would never be the same again.
“She’s not going to die,” a small voice in the back of my head whispered to me as I sat there waiting for news of Sarah’s condition.
“She’s not going to die, she’s not going to die, she’s not going to die,” I repeated over and over again in a whispered mantra, half hoping that saying it out loud would somehow make it come true.
But the small voice inside my head refused to be silenced as it continued to whisper its warnings to me, trying to make me understand something that I didn’t want to hear.
“It doesn’t look good,” the doctor told me as he walked out of Sarah’s room a few minutes later, his words confirming what the small voice inside my head had been trying to tell me all along.
“The next few hours are going to be critical.”
“But you were able to save her, right?”
I asked him in a voice that sounded so small and weak that it might as well have come from someone else entirely.
He gave me a sad look as he shook his head in response, telling me without words that while Sarah might have survived the surgery, there were still no guarantees that she would survive at all.
I must’ve gone into shock after hearing those words because the next thing I knew, they were leading me into a small room where they made me sit down on a hard plastic chair while they continued to work on Sarah inside the operating room.
I don’t know how long I sat there like that, but it felt like forever as every second that passed felt like an eternity and every minute that went by felt like an hour.
I wanted to scream and shout, but I knew that wouldn’t do any good, so I sat there instead, staring into the void as I tried to make sense of what was happening and what it might mean for the future.
For Sarah and me both.
It seemed hard to believe that our luck could be this bad, but then again, we’d never really been all that lucky to begin with, had we?
Even as kids, we’d always seemed to find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, but we’d made it through all those moments together, and I refused to believe that this time would be any different.
I couldn’t let myself believe that.
“Sarah can’t die,” I told myself as I sat there alone in that hospital corridor, trying to keep my emotions under control as I waited for news of Sarah’s condition.
“She has to be okay, she has to be okay, she has to be okay,” I repeated over and over again, half-hoping that saying it enough times would somehow make it come true as I tried not to think about what my life would be like if she were gone forever.
It was a future that I didn’t want to imagine because it seemed too bleak and dark to be real and yet here I was, waiting for news of Sarah’s condition in a hospital corridor while doctors and nurses fought to save her life.
“She can’t die,” the small voice inside my head told me once more, trying to make me believe something that seemed almost impossible at a time like this, but even if it was impossible, it was something that I had to believe in because the alternative was too horrible to contemplate.
I was still trying to make myself believe what my mind and heart refused to accept when the sound of footsteps pulled me from my dark thoughts and back to reality while at the same time making my heart skip a beat.
I looked up to see who was coming my way, half-hoping for good news and half-afraid of what they might say.
But when I saw who it was, neither hope nor fear were my first emotion.
They were replaced instead by a sense of relief as the man who’d been like a father to me all these years walked toward me with a look of concern on his face.
“I heard what happened,” he said quietly as he finally reached me, his eyes not leaving my face while he spoke.
“How is she?”
I could see the same fear and concern in his eyes that I could feel inside myself, and for a moment, I didn’t know how to answer him.
What could I possibly say?
“She’s still inside,” I told him at last.
“The doctors are doing everything they can…”
The words trailed off then as my voice cracked and tears welled up in my eyes once more, threatening to spill over even though I tried to hold them back.
Sarah had always been the strong one between us while I’d been the emotional one who cried at the drop of a hat.
I’d cried more than my fair share of tears over the years and thought that maybe I was all out of them by now.
But it turned out that wasn’t true because even after everything we’d been through together over the years, Sarah’s life was in danger like never before and it was looking more and more like this time might be different.
That there was a good chance she wouldn’t make it.
And that was something I couldn’t accept.
It wasn’t fair.
She was my best friend and sister in all but name.
My better half in every way.
And the world would be a darker place without her in it.
“I don’t know what to do,” I told Yosef at last after a few moments had gone by in silence between us.
My voice was hoarse and filled with tears and emotion as I spoke.
“I just don’t know what to do.”
Yosef nodded his head slowly in understanding as he reached out a hand to rest on my shoulder then.
“I know,” he said quietly.
“But let’s just take it one step at a time for now.”
Yosef’s hand on my shoulder was warm and solid as he spoke, and it gave me some measure of comfort to know that he was there with me when I needed him most.
He’d been a pillar of strength and guidance in my life ever since my parents had died when I was just a kid, and even though we were all hurting right now, knowing that he was here with me helped some.
At least a little bit.
So we stood there together in the hospital corridor then as we waited for news of Sarah from the doctors while Yosef kept his hand on my shoulder as a silent gesture of support and friendship.
Because we were both hurting right now and needed each other more than ever before, even though neither of us knew how things would turn out in the end or if they ever really could be okay again after something like this.
We were two souls facing love and loss together, hanging on by a thread as we waited for news of Sarah’s fate.
I’ll admit that it’s hard to think clearly in a situation like this.
There are so many emotions that run through you all at once that they can be hard to sort out or make sense of in the moment.
And that’s how things were for me then as my emotions ran wild inside me over the thought that Sarah might not make it this time.
The same thought that kept replaying itself over and over again in my mind like a nightmare come to life as we waited for news of her fate in the hospital corridor while the doctors did what they could to save her life.
The thought that maybe this time would be different…that this time she wouldn’t make it.
And that was something that I couldn’t accept no matter how hard I tried to make myself.
Because the simple truth is that the idea of living the rest of my life without Sarah by my side terrified me on a level that nothing else ever could.
She’d been my best friend for as long as I could remember and more than my fair share of other things as well over the years as we came of age together from awkward teenagers into young adults before finally becoming something more to each other in recent months.
Aside from being a part of me in every way, Sarah was also the strongest person that I knew and had always been a fighter since the day she’d come into my life all those years ago.
And because of that, it simply didn’t seem possible that she could be taken from me now by something so senseless and cruel as this terrorist attack that had left her fighting for her life like never before.
I knew that there were no guarantees in a situation like this and that things didn’t look good for her right now as we waited for word from the doctors about her fate while they did what they could to save her life.
But I also knew that Sarah had never been one to back down in the face of any kind of challenge or obstacle before now, no matter how overwhelming or impossible it might seem at first.
So maybe there was still hope that she would find the strength to fight back this time as well…if only I had the courage to believe.
I looked up at Yosef then through a haze of tears as we stood there together in the hospital corridor while we waited to hear from the doctors.
His expression was a mix of sadness and concern as he looked down at me then with a furrowed brow that told me he knew exactly what I was thinking right now.
And so I gathered my courage then to look up at him as I spoke in a voice that seemed to crack with despair.
“Please don’t let her die,” I said to Yosef at last then.
My voice broke as I spoke and filled with more emotion than I’d ever felt before as I said the words to him now.
“I don’t think I can live without her.”
“I know you can’t,” Yosef said to me in a soft voice that still couldn’t hide the note of sadness that I heard within it now that struck me like a knife to my heart.
And in that instant I wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms and let him hold me as he had so many times before whenever things had gotten tough for me over the years and I’d needed his comfort and support.
But somehow I found the strength to keep my feet beneath me now and not give in to that primal urge as I waited for him to tell me something that would make this nightmare all go away.
Even though part of me already knew that there was no way he could do that now.
I shook my head then as I looked up at him again and opened my mouth to say something else once more, but no words came out as I tried to speak.
And then suddenly he reached out and took my hand in his own at last and gave it a gentle squeeze that told me he knew exactly how I felt right now and that he was there for me in every way that he could be.
“David,” Yosef said to me at last then in a voice that was full of a deep sorrow now as he looked down at me with eyes that were wet with unshed tears that told me he was feeling the same kind of pain that I was right now.
“I’m so sorry.” He said as his voice broke on the words then and his grip on my hand tightened as he looked down at me with a heavy heart that told me he knew exactly what I was feeling right now as I tried to keep it all together in the face of this soul-crushing news.
“She’s gone, David.” He said at last then as he looked down at me with a look of such grief in his eyes now that I felt as if I would never stop crying again as I looked back at him in shock.
“No,” I said then as I shook my head once more in denial of what he was saying to me now.
“She’s in a better place now,” Yosef said to me in a soothing voice that was obviously meant to comfort me in my hour of need.
But instead it only served to make things worse for me as I heard his words and realized what they meant.
“I don’t want her to be in a better place.” I said to him as I shook my head again and pulled my hand free from his grasp as I took a step back from him at last now.
“I want her here with me,” I said then as I felt another shudder pass through me and wiped away more tears from my eyes as I tried to stem the tide of grief that threatened to overwhelm me now.
“You know that I can’t live without her.” And as I spoke those words aloud now I felt as if it were true and that some part of me had already died along with Sarah when she’d been taken from me like this so suddenly and cruelly…
“It’s not possible,” I said at last then in a voice that was filled with so much shock and sadness now that it seemed as if it belonged to someone else instead of me as I spoke the words aloud and heard them echo through the empty corridors around us.
“It can’t be true…”
I’d never felt anything like this before and it was like being engulfed by a whirlpool of emotions that dragged me down into the abyss with no hope of ever escaping now…
And then Yosef was there with me as he gathered me into his arms and held me close against him as if he could shield me from the pain that was ripping through my soul right now and tearing me apart piece by piece…
I tried to hold onto him and his comforting embrace but it was no use and my body shook with the force of my sobs now as I let myself go and gave in fully and completely to the grief that threatened to consume me now…
“Everything will be alright,” he said at last then as he held me tightly against him and tried to comfort me with words that sounded so empty now that they did nothing for me.
“You’ll see…”
I didn’t see how that could be possible now that Sarah was gone and nothing could ever change that fact now…
“She never did anything wrong.” I said then at last after a long time had passed in which all we did was stand there together in silence.
“She never hurt anyone in her life.” And it was true because Sarah Cohen had been the sweetest and most innocent girl on the face of this earth.
I still couldn’t believe that anyone would have done this to her or that she’d been taken from me like this…
“I know,” Yosef said then in a voice that was filled with a deep sadness now as he looked down at me with a heavy heart once more.
“But she’s gone nonetheless.” He said then and there were tears in his eyes once more as he looked down at me and we mourned for Sarah together now.
And so we stood together for awhile longer in silence and let our grief wash over us until we were able to accept the truth of what had happened and were ready to face the world outside once more.
Then Yosef took my hand once more and led me away from Sarah’s hospital room where she lay on the bed so pale and still and not moving except for the steady rise and fall of her chest that told us she was breathing still even though she would never wake up again…
She looked so small and fragile on that bed now that I could hardly bear to look at her as I stood there in the doorway and let my eyes rest on her still form for the last time…
I knew that I would never be able to forget the sight of Sarah lying on that hospital bed like that as long as I lived.
And yet at the same time I also knew that the girl who lay on that bed in front of me now was not Sarah Cohen at all.
Not really because she was missing the fiery spirit that had always set her apart from everyone else in the world and made her special to me in a way that no one else ever could.
The girl I’d known before would never have lain there so still and unresponsive while I stood in the doorway looking at her.
She would have opened her eyes and given me a brilliant smile as if nothing had happened at all because that was just the way that Sarah was.
She was a fighter and a survivor too so she would have found a way to come through this crisis just as she had come through all the others before.
It was hard to believe that she was really gone for good now…
I don’t know how long I stood there in the doorway looking at Sarah’s lifeless body sprawled out on the bed like that but it felt like hours at least.
The sight of her lying there broke my heart all over again every time I looked at her so I kept my eyes open even though they burned with angry tears for having to look at her while I did so.
And yet at the same time, there was something about her still form that held my gaze captive just the same…
I think it was just the fact that I couldn’t understand how this could have happened to her at all.
How she could have been taken from me when we had both gone through so much already and always come through it together.
How it could be possible for someone as young and full of life as Sarah had once been to be lying still and silent like this now when she should have been out in the world somewhere living life to its fullest instead.
But the worst part was knowing that there wasn’t anything I could do about it either because it was too late for me to save her now.
Sarah Cohen was already dead but I was still alive…
It was hard to accept that this was really happening, Yosef said then in a voice that was quiet now before he came to stand beside me in the doorway too.
I turned my head slightly then so that I could look at him but I didn’t say anything just then because I didn’t trust myself not to burst into tears if I tried.
Grieving was hard enough when you were alone but it was even worse when you were with someone who you loved as much as I loved Sarah.
It almost hurt more than I could stand to know that I would never be able to see her again now that she was gone.
She was like my sister but she was also so much more than that because she was also my best friend too.
And I knew that I would never be able to forget her or get over losing her like this…
Yosef knew how I felt too though because he always seemed to know me better than I knew myself.
He’d always been able to tell what I was feeling when no one else could even see it on my face at all.
He’d always been able to read me like an open book…
He knew that I needed him right now so he came to stand beside me in silence and put a strong arm around my shoulders to pull me close to him.
For a little while, we just stood there together in silence as we grieved for Sarah until we were able to accept what had happened.
Then he reached out a hand to touch my face gently before he raised his eyes to look at mine once more as he spoke in a voice that was quiet now.
Let’s go back home now, he said then lightly as he looked down at me with kind eyes that were filled with love now.
I’ll be here for you… He promised then with a kind smile that was meant to reassure me even though we both knew that it never would.
I’ll help you get through this, he said then before he put his arm around my shoulders once more and led me away from the doorway where I had been standing and out into the hallway beyond…
But even though he tried to reassure me, I still didn’t know how I was ever going to come back from this again.
I sat down on the chair beside her bed then and took her hand in my own to hold it tightly.
She was lying there beneath the thin white sheets with her eyes closed and her red hair spread out against the pillow.
She looked like she was only asleep but I knew better than to believe that because she had been gone ever since the accident happened.
The doctors had been doing everything they could to keep her alive for the last three weeks now but they had finally said that there was nothing more they could do for her now.
Her injuries had just been too severe for her to overcome no matter what they did and we both knew it.
I looked at her with a heartbroken expression in my eyes then because she looked just like an angel lying there.
But even though she looked peaceful, I knew better than to believe it because she was going to die soon now whether we wanted her to or not.
It hurt more than anything else to admit it but it was better than pretending it wasn’t true when we both knew better than that.
I closed my eyes for a long moment then and leaned back against the wall behind my chair as I thought about everything that had happened since the accident.
It was hard to believe that this was really happening to us even now as it all played out inside my head.
But even though it was hard to accept, I knew that I had to do it anyway—I just didn’t have any other choice because there wasn’t anything more I could do for her now.
She was going to die no matter what I wanted anymore…
It was just a question of when.
She never should’ve survived this long really—I couldn’t believe that she still was because she’d always been so strong but there were some things no one could ever overcome.
And no matter how hard she fought to survive, I knew that she would never be able to overcome this—no one could.
It was just impossible…
I almost wished that it was over already just so that we wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.
But at the same time, it felt like a betrayal to think of her like that so I did my best to put it out of my mind.
It was a hard thing to do but it was also necessary because I couldn’t let myself think of her like that anymore…
The doctors had been keeping her alive for the last three weeks with machines just like they were doing now.
They were the only thing that was keeping her alive because there was nothing more that they could do for her now.
It was impossible to believe that we would be able to keep her alive for much longer because the doctors had already said that we wouldn’t.
And even though they had been wrong once already, I knew that they wouldn’t be wrong again because it was just impossible for her to hold on for much longer.
It was a miracle that she had held on for so long already.
And even though modern medicine had come a long way since the time of my grandparents, it couldn’t fix everything.
It couldn’t bring her back to life now…
